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Theological Seminary
PRINCETON, N. J.
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THE
Gentleman Inftruded
I N T H E
^
r
CONDUCT
^ Virtuous and Mappy IT Mi^."^
L I F E.^^
In Three Parts.
Written for the Instruction of a
YouxNG NOBLEMAN.
To which is added,
A Word to the LADIES,
By Way of S U P P L E M E N T to the
F I R S T P A R T.
The Tenth Edition.
LONDON:
printed by W. Burton, for the Executrix of E. Sm I T H •, and Sold by W. Parker, at the Kir^s-Head, in St. Faults Church- Yard.
MDCCX "xxflT
>
To the Right Honourable
EDWARD.
Lord Vifcount Cornhury^ &c.
B^ron Clifton of Leighton" Bromfwould 3
Son and Heir-Apparent of
Edward Earl oiClarendon^Scc.
My Lord,
I Formerly prefented Tour Lordfhip njj'tth the Firji Volume of this Book, and for the fame Reafon I noiv prefent it again entire in all its Farts to Tou, be- caufe it luas made for Tou, I mean^ for Gentlemen of Tour Nohle Chara&er ^ and hecaufe, I helieue^ the perufal of it nvill loth profit and delight Tou : But more efpeciallyy My Lord, J make Tou a Pre-^ fent of it, to gi<ve Tour Lordjhip an Af» furance of the unfeigned Defires I ha've, A 2 that
The Dedication. that Ton JhouU he Goody as 'well as Great y and to tejlify therehy to the Worldy the great RefpeB I ha^e for your Noble Family ; of 'which Tour Lordjhip cannot fail to he the great Ornament , as ivell as the Glory of Tour Country y if you take this Book for Tour Companion y and Eu- febius, the Nohle Author of ity for your Guide,
My Lord, I had the Honour to he long acquainted <with my Lord Tour Grand- father^ and I had the Happinefs and Blef- fing to he hred up in the Family of Tour Great Grandfather of immortal Memory^ I meany in the mojl famous Uniiferjity of Oxford, to nvhichy after a long Night of Ignorance, in Times "which his incompara» hie Pen hath defcrihedy he reflored true Learning and Difciplme, to the great Be- nefit of the Church and Kingdom y and go- werned ity all the Time he 'was Chancellor of it^ 'with the Cave, AjfeBion and Au- thority of a Father 5 andy My Lord, I've- rily belie'vey that of thofcy 'who ivere then Students in the Univerjityy there is not a Man of any Rank or Profe/Jton noiv li'v-
ingy
The Dedication. ingy ivho doth not re'verence his Memory^ and njuifh all Happinefs to his Nolle Fa- milyy and particularly to lour Lordjhipy ivho hear his Name^ andivhoy ^we all hope^ nvillfolhiv his great Example^ and that of another in e^very RefpeB as Greaty and Goody I mean the Example of Tour He- roick other Great Grandfather y my Lord Caps^l, of mojl Venerable and Immor- tal Alemory.
To that Endy My Lord, this Book, noiu compkated by the Author ^ comes to 'wait upon Tou in the Fifth Edition j ^hich I mention to Tour Lordjhip, to let you un- derjiandy that it mujl he a Book of more than common Value ^ ^hich in fo Critical an Age hath made its Way fo ojten in its federal Parts through the World ^without any other Tejiimonyy or Commendationy but that of its onvn intrinjick Worth.
Wherefore y My Lord, I do not defire Tou to read it o'ver, for that njjould be a Bifparagement to it^ and all the Parts of it \ I only dejire Tour Lordjhip ro tafte it, to read as fmallapart of it as Tou pleafey and then to forbear reading the ivhole CoU A 3 leUiony
The Dedicatiok,
leBion^ if you can. I dare fay^ My Lord, ijohen Tou have begun, Tou njoill no more he able not to go through the ^whoky than if Tou ijjere to read the heji Dramatick Com- fofure that e^ver 'was madey Tou could give off at the Firft AU, and not proceed to the End of the Fifth. It is not ^without Reafon, My Lord, that I liken this Book to a Play 'y for indeed it is a fort of Drama, ^written in Dialogue, ^without Numbers, in ivhich federal Perfons under feigned Names exprefs federal Humours ^ and, as it 'were^ aU federal Parts 5 and as in a true PJay, in nvhich the Poet defgns to profit, as much astopleafe, and to couch a Noble Moral in the Plot, this bright and ferious Dramatift in Profe, the Wife Eufebius, ^hofe Piety in his Book is equal to his Wit, deftgns through the 'whole of it to render Virtue amiable and venerable, and mofl becoming the Profeffion and PraBice of Gentlemen, and to reprefent Wictin its natural Features, as hateful and ridiculous, and mofl dijhonourahle and re^ proachful to Gentlemen of all Ranks, de- fcrihing all along the Vanities and Follies and M^dnefs of the World, and difcover-
ing
The Dedication. ing the finful Arts and Snares and Temp^ tations of it in Juch a delightful and con^ evincing manner, that it mufl he faid of e^very one, 'who can turn Afoftate from Virtuey after reading this mofl excellent Volume y that his DejlruBion is ofhimfelf. My Lord, it is no'w fome Time fince Your Lordfhip entered on the Stage of the Worldy and gi've me leave to fay a- gain, that the Eyes of God, and all good Men 'will he upon ToUy to ohfer^ve how Tou 'will aU Tour Part^ and 'whether Toull follonv the InJiruBions nvhich the Honoura- ble Eufebius gi'ves in the frjl Part to Neandcr, and in the rej} to Theomachus ^ or 'whether forgetting the Honour both of Tour natural and ffiritual Birth , and the facred Obligations of Tour Baptifmal Vb'Wy Tou 'will let Tour felfbe carried off by the great Number of Acheifts, Deifts, Indif- f erents, and Debauchees among us, whofe ^vile Manners and Con'verfation he de-* fcribes in this golden Book. My Lord, in fuch an Age as thisy Tou mujl prepare Your * Soul againft the Temp- * Ecdcfiaiii- tations of thefe Men, from ^"s"^- A 4 'which J *
The DEDICATlONr
nxihich, hy the Grace of God, Ton ha^ve hitherto prefer^ved^ and I truft^ 'will al* ivays prefer've Tour Self^ though they luill he fure to ufe all their ArtSy particularly that mojl dangerous one of Flattery ^ to fe- duce ToUy and to ajfail Tour Virtue mjith all their Force and Skill, But God^ if Ton feeh His Ajjijlancey and Tour cwn Chrfjtian Courage and Refclutiony nrill fe- cure Tour Lordfiip from them ; and that Tou may Hue to he a bright y heroick and jfeady Example of Chrijlian Fietyy in a mofl kicked and degenerate A gey Jhall he thd conjlant ana moft hearty Prayery My Lord, of
Your Lordfhip's
Mofl Obedient Servant,
Geo. Hickes.
THE
PUBLISHER
TO THE
GENTRY
Gentlemen,
PROVIDENCE having put the fol- lowing Dialogues into my Hands, I take the Boldnefs to offer them to the View of the Publick under your Protection. They were only intended by the Author for the private In- firuftion of a young Nobleman, on whom they have wrought fuch admirable Effecfls, that it*s Pity, methinks, to bury them in Privacy, and to confine them to one Clofet. The Author's Defign is charitable, I am fure ; but whether he has been happy in Execution, I wholly leave to your Judgments. He runs through the Duty of a Gentleman, and of a Chriftian ; he points at the Ihorteft Way to Greatnefs and Goodnefs, and fur- nifhes you with Materials to live with Honour in this World, and in Glory in the next.
Seeing
Th FuUtJher to theGm tky.
Seeing therefore this Treatife comes on fo kind an Errand, it will, I prefume, meet with a civil Reception *, for MefTengers of good News are feldom unwelcome.
But nothing has embolden*d me fo much to call thefe Pages at your Feet, as lincere Tender- nefs for your Perfons. It*s Wifdom to have an Antidote at Hand, when we fufpedl Poifon v and dangerous to vifit a Peft-houfe without a Prefer-- vative. Alas, Gentlemen, you fuck in Poifon, you live in Infedlion ; IVealth, Grandeur, and Example plot your Ruin, and Flattery difguifes the Danger ; lewd Books are of the Cabal, they dart Poifon to the Heart through the Avenues of the Eyes, and convey Death through Plea- fure.
In St. Peter's Days the Devil made his Round to pray on the unwary, but now he has almofl eafed himfelf of that Labour •, he afts no more in Perfon, but by Deputy •, he has commiflion'd Poets to rhime you into Deftrudion, and fees Li- bertines to argue you into Hell •, and certainly he has had greater Succefs againfl Mankind, un- der the Shape of an Author, than of a Lyon 5 your Clofets are ftock'd with defaming Lam- poons, lewd PlaySy and Icandalous Poems ; you read thefe hellifh Papers with Pleafure and Tranfport ; they foften Nature, emafculate the Mind, and by Degrees metamorphofe the Rea- der into as errant a Beaft as the Poet •, the Style charms, the Expreflion is lufcious, and the Con- trivance no lefs inviting than the Subjed. All thefe petty Artifices confpire to enflame Scnfe, to enliven Paflion, and debauch the Will.
Again, to whet Appetite, and increafe Defire, Care is taken to fet off Ladies with all the Allure- ments
^he Puhllfher to the Gentrv.
merits of Eafinefs and Condefcendency ; they arc difcarded not only of Modefty, but of Shame ; fo that, if the Originals refemble the Copies, if the Sex be as ill prepared for Defence at Home, as on the Stage, the Conqueft will be made with- out the Expence o^ Artillery or Bombs.
But this is not enough ; the Poets take upon 'em the Office of Engineers too ; they trace out the Approaches, point the Cannon, order the At- tack, and then cry, Gentlemen^ fall on: For why- do they expofe not only to the Eyes in the Play- Houfe, but in Print* paft Brutalities, but to per- fuade you to aft them over again ? And why do they enter upon Particulars, but to Ihew you the Method ? They ranfack Mulberry Gardens^ Ep- fom-lVells, and other publick Scenes of Debau- chery, for the Subjeft of your Entertainment j their Plots and Counter-plots are only laid to trepan Women, and gull Heireffes ; befides, few licentious Intrigues mifcarry. This is a fly Innu" endo to the Audience and the Reader, that Suc- cefs will certainly wait upon their Attempts, and by confequence 'tis a ftrong Provcation' to enter upon Adion.
And becaufe Nature has ftamp'd on the Face of Vice, Deformity and Horror, thefe ungrate- ful Features are fhaded with charming Appella- tions i the Sins lie out of fight under a Varnifh, and nothing appears but the Pleafure. For this Reafon the moft overt Invitations to Evil muft be chriften*d. Billets deux ; Lewdnefs muft be lliled Gallantry^ and the Stews Places of Diverji- on. Why are innocent Names put on criminal Things, but to confound Notions ; but to gild over Dilhonefty, as Apothecaries do Pills, that it may go down without any Checks or Convulfi- pns of Confcience ? feeing
*Ihe Puhlifher to the GiurKY,
Seeing you thus clofely befieged on all Sides, and Handing on the Brink of Deftrudtion ; and, what is worfe, void of Fear ; nay, lulled into a mortal Lethargy, without any Apprehenfion of your Danger, I have brought thefe Dialogues to your Refcue, and may aflure you with fome Confidence, they'll prove moll ufeful, and high- ly beneficial, if you will vouchfafe to perufe *em with unprejudiced Minds, and unbiafs'd Affec- tions.
They lay before your Eyes the moft impor- tant Parts of your Duty, both to God and Men j the Snares of the World, and Wiles of the Devil ; the Caufes of your Mifcarriage, and fure Me- thods either to prevent or retrieve them. And what can you defire more, but a fincere Refoluti- on to apply thefe Remedies that are defcrib'd ?
I am fenfible we live in an Age devoted to Cen- fure and Criticifm, and therefore I have thought fit to obviate an Ohje^ion or two : Some may think the Author treats Quality with too much Freedom, and Nobility with too little Refped: : Bat, Gentlemen, pray remember, there is a great Difference between your Perfons and your Vices i thefe be Honours, not thofe.
It were ridiculous to compliment Criminals, or to reverence Felons on the Hurdle ; your Fai- lures are brought upon the Scaffold, not for Tri- umph, but for Execution ; to receive Punifh- ment, not Applaufe ; what Wonder then if he handles roughly thofe Faults he condemns ? If he tears off the Vizors that conceal a loathfome Deformity under a falfe but tempting Superfi- cies? He has a mind to difcountenance 111, to withdraw you from the Embraces of thefe trea- cherous Syrens, that enchant your Reafon, and
capti-
^he Publifher to the G'Ei^rK^,
captivate your Affeftions in oi'der to murder your Souls ; that offer you imaginary Pleafures to reward your Credulity with real Torments. This is certainly a charitable Defign, but withal impradicable, unlefs each Vice be haled to the Bar, and all their Treafons^ Forgeries^ and Im- pojlures be brought to Light, and proved upon them as clear as the Day.
For, Gentlemen, give me leave to fpeak free- ly, you love Vice under the -Mask, of Pleafure, almolt to Dotage ; nothing can wean your Affec- tions from its bewitching Charms, but a Demon- ftratioh that you are mod wretchedly impofed upon.
Others may perchance take it ill that the Au- thor fports fometimes upon too ferious a Sub- je6l, and by confequence tranfgreffes the Rules of Decency.
But you mud confider we live in an Age that ranks Serioufnefs among the Vices, and Raillery among the Virtues. Alas, Gentlemen, the fpor- five Facuhy takes place of tlie reafonahle -, Rifihile and Rationale have chang'd Places fmce Arifio- tle's Days ; the Propriety has flep'd into the De- finition of Man, and banifh'd his moft effential Ingredient among the jicculents : Reafon, with- out Force, is out of Fafhion ; it muft appear in a Scaramouches Drefs to obtain an Audience, and mufl. bring Delight as well as Inflrudion to be welcome.
The Author condefcends to your Weaknefs, and furely you will not cenfurc his Civility, nor burlefque his Judgment, for paying Deference to your Quality •, befides, he is fenfible, Vice has been laugh'd into Praftice and Reputation, and Virtue into Contempt : Why therefore may not
Virtue
fhe TuhUfher to the Glut Kyt,
Virtue regain its Pofl by the fame Method it loll it ? And why may not the Gentry be fported into their Duty, as they have been rallied out of it ? Some Poifons call for 'Treacle^ others for Fire ; but that of the 'Tarantula muft be fetch'd out by Mufick. A Peal of Laughter enervates the Force of this Neapolitan Venom, and a Brace of Minutes expel it. Who knows but your Di- itcmper is of the fame Nature ? At leaft, defpe- rate Difeafes are proper for Experiments ; and tho* no Remedy fucceeds, it's a Satisfadion to have applied all.
In fine, I fling this Treatife at your Feet, and if you will be pleafed to perufe it with Leifure and Reflcftion, it may not only furnilh you with Inftrudion, but with Pleafure ; not fuch in- deed as courts Senfe, and gratifies the beaftial Part, but fuch as is proportioned to the fu- pream and leading Faculty i fuch as feaft a Souly and regales an Intelligence.
Your fnofl humble Servant,
I T. D.
THE
THE
PREFACE-
GI V E me Leave, dear Reader, to ujher its the following Conferences with a Chara5fer of the Author. He is dead, and by confe- quence cut of the Reach of Vanity ; and as the Re- gularity of his Life gives no hold to Satyr, fo the Excellency of his Virtues raife him above Flattery, Many Reafons perfuade me to conceal his Name^ but more to -publijh his rare Merits.
Example has flrange Attra^ives ; the Way to Virtue by Precepts, as the Philofopher not^, is long, but by Example, Jhort and eafy ; like the Laconick DiaUtl, it exprejfes much in a little, and drives Ar- guments more home than Logick or Rhetorick. Seeing therefore. Gentlemen have continually before their Eyes fo many Statues of Vice in all FoJlureSy it*s time to prefeut them with one of Virtue, that they may be convinced. Piety is within their Tieacb^ as well as within their Obligation ; and that they may live within the Circle of their Duty, without jiepping out of the fVorld, or debarring themfelves the Freedom o/" Society and Converfation.
And, indeed, the Life of this Gentleman is ei plain and Jianding Evidence, that Men transform Palaces into Places of Debauchery, not Palaces Men into
DebaU'
ne PREFACE.
"Debauchees ; and that Courts would he innocent^ if Courtiers could refohe to remain fo.
Eufebius was of a Family as antient as the Con- quejl, and what is particular^ in all the civil Wars and Revolutions of State^ his Ancefiors were fo hap- fy, as to Jlandby their Prince in fpight of Fa^ion and Interejl ; nor could they ever be prevailed upon to part with their Loyalty for any Frofpe5l of Pre- ferment ; they chofe rather to fall in the Defence of Jujiice^ than to triumph with profperous Ufurpers,
Eufebius had the good Fortune to be born of a Mother^ whofe Wijdom vied with her Piety, and both indeed were extraordinary : She trained him up from the Cradle in the Duties of a Chrijlian, and^ I may fay, he both, loved God, and feared him, f§ foon as he was able to frame a right Notion of bis Per- feSiion ; and thefe firfi Impreffions funk fo deep, that neither Age nor Employments were able to wear them
"ff-
He was fent to the Univerfity under the Conduct of a prudent Governour, who endeavoured, by Precept and Example, to improve in him thofe Seeds of Vir- tue, his Mother had fcwed fo early. He applied himfelf to Philofophy with Eagernefs and Appetite, and made a Progrefs anfwerable to his piercing Wit and affiduous Application \ yet he always looked on Learning as the AccelTory, and Piety as the Prin- cipal ; that, he /aid, was a rneer Embellifhment, this an indifpenfiUe Duty : So that in Reality, this was his Bufinefs, that his Diverfwn.
Tet he was none of thofe Plodders, who feem to disband from Company, and to forfivear Converfati- cn, who place Virtuje in Sournefs, and confound Piety with Spleen : No, he was free, eafy, and chearful, and never refifed to partake ofthoje Sports that recreate the Mind, and eafe the Body, without
. P?'ejudice
7%^ P R E F A C E.
Prejudice to Confcience. To pawn Innocence for PJeafure, /aid he^ is to over- rate the one, and to undervalue the other : To laugh whilft we fin, is, in fome fort, to renew the barbarous Cruelty of Nero f who play'd while Rome burn'd -, or the foolifh Temerity of the Indian Philofopher, who fung on the Funeral Pile.
Indeed^ fuch an unufual ConduEl was gazed at^ in a Place where Touth gives more time to the FraEiice <^Epicurus'j Morals^ than to the Study of Arifto- tJe'j Philofophy •, or where at leajl Learning is more a-la-mode than Piety ; hut this Admiration foon pafs^d into EJleefn^ and he who atfirjl wa^ look d on as a Monlter, in Vrocefs oftimewasjliledan Angel.
He left the Univerfity to vifit the Camp^ and made fever al Campaigns under N. N. Neither In- tereft nor Ambition called him into the Field ; the only Ahn of his Refoluiion was to learn the Myfle- ■ ries of War ^ that he 7night he one Day in a Capacity to ferve his Prince with Honour, and his Country with Succefs.
Vitty feldom follfiws an Army\ Soldiers feem to leave Confcience in their Winter-Barters^ as well as Religion^ that they may fin without Check, and he damned without Ap-prehenfion. Eufebius difappro- ved this ill Husbandry. Our Care, faid he, mud rife with the Danger, and feeing we are not affured of an Hour, it's Madnefs to neglect our Soul one Moment. I fuppofe, continued he to a Friend^ when we put on a red Coat, we put not off Chriflianity, nor receive a Commiflion from God to live at Pleafure, when we enter in- to the Service of our Prince : No, no, let us die like Men, but live like Chriftians, this is the on- ly way to leave an honourable Memory in this World, and to find a glorious Reception in the next, [ a ] Hn
T'y^^ P R E F A C E.
His Life in the Camp was anfwerahle to his Prin- ciples ', heprafi half an Hour on his Knees Morning and Evenings and never omitted to he prefent at publick Prayers, when he was not on Duty ; he would never fuffer either prophane er ohfcene Dif- courfe : For, faid he, it's hard to hear without Sin thofe Things that cannot be fpoke without Offence ; to permit Crimes is to abet them. IVhen he could not excufe an Officer *j Fault, he al- ways leffen'd it, and fpoke ill of no Body but him- felf. He cojnpar'^d Detractors to your Italian Bra- voes, who attack People behind, and ftab Bodies at unawares, whilji thofe kill a Man*s Reputation.
One Day an Offcer told him. War called for Courage, not Vertue ; that Refolution carried the Day, not Confcience.
That is, replied he. Ambition challenges the Time of War, Diverfion the Time of Peace, and Sin every Moment of your Life ; but then who will claim the Mo4nent of your Death ? God. Alas, Sir, you'll neither have the Time nor the Thought to difpofe of it fo advantage- pufly, as you live in Sin, fo in all Probability you'll die in it. You are miftaken. Sir, Sin en- ervates the Mind, not Piety ; and could we read the Thoughts of our Soldiers, we fhould find too lictle Confcience drove more of them out of the Field at the Battle of N. tlian too much. A Man muf^ be either an Atheift, or mad, to front Danger in Sin.
F.ufebius proved beyond Demonftnation thai Vir- tue is no Enemy to Valour \ he breathed nothing but Sieges, Battles, and Expeditions -, he went to Com- bats with as compofed a Countenance, as others fnarch to 'Triumphs ; and^ like Hannibal, was the frjl in the Field, and thslajl out of it ; he generally
nsk'd
3^/^<? P R E F A C E.
^,sPd the moft dangerous Poji, and fought Penlsy aS if he had a mind to fall ^ yet he always came off ivith Safety and Applaufe ; Providence feemed to have made him Proof againfl Ball and Sword y and his Virtue arnr'd him againfl Fear.
Being challenged once to a Duel, he anfw&r^d cold- ly. Sir, though I fear not your Sword, I trem- ble at my Maker's Anger ; I dare venture my Life in a good Caufe, but cannot hazard m^" Soul in a bad one. PJl charge up to the Can- non's Mouth, but want Courage to ftorm HelJ. And when a Friend told him, he mufi either fight, or forfeit his Honour: You are millaken, replied Eufebius, I'll gain Honour by my Difgrace, and fhew the World I am no Coward, by daring Cenfure and Obloquy. He is couragious and brave, who (lands up for Confcience againft the falfe but prevailing Maxims of Cuftom and Opi- nion ; not he who betrays his Duty, and dreads tnore an imaginary Imputation than a real Crime. Eufebius returned from the Army with Glory, and hrought off his P iety in Triumph', he was received hy his Mafier with open Arms, and advanced to an honourable Pofi ; he laboured for his BenefaSfor'' s In- ter efi, not his own -, and ufed to fay. The Pi- i nee ihould always carry off the Profit, and the Sub- jedl the Glory of doing well.
He could not endure to pur chafe Attendants with fair Promifes, and then to reward their Expeulation ivith Difappointment •, his Intentions were as fincere as his tVords, andhe never promifed a Favour, hut he defigned it ; he could not endure to tantalize Pre- tcndants with gay Hopes, and in the End difmifs them with an airy Complejnent. This is, faid he, to fpend their Time, and drain their Purfe with infignificant Waiting, to tempt their Paiisncej [ a 2 1 and
Th V RE F A C K
and in the End to draw them to be your Enc-* mies.
Eufebius found at iajl, that Innocence is not a- hove the reach of Envy, and that in Courts Virtue is often pmifhed, and Vice rewarded. A Club of Courtiers caballed againfl hifn, and perfuaded the Prince to difcard him, He bore this Dijgrace with an Evennefs of Temper, that fur prized his Enemies., and, like the Sun in an Eclipfe, all gazed on hiin with Adfniration. 'Though he was overpowered, he could not be overcome. He looked brighter under a Cloud, than in the full Meridian of his Grandeur, and all concluded he was no lefs in Misfortune, than he had been in the higheji Splendor of Glory.
A Friend tempted him toftrike in with a Fa^ion againjl his Prince •, but he received the Propofition with Indignation and Horror. No, faid he, I had rather be wretched without a Fault, than great with a Crime : Duty called me to my Mailer's Service, not Interell ; and I'll rather pawn my Life, than forfeit my Loyalty ; my high Pre- tenfions lie in the other World, not in this ; my Prince raifed me to a confiderable Fortune, now he thinks fit to difcharge me, Pll thank him for the Favour, and not repine at his Juftice. I ac- cepted the Station at his Command with Grati- tude, and I quit it with Refignation.
He was received again into Favour ; yet this un- expe^ed Turn wrought no Alteration in his Humour ; he rofewith the fame Unconcernednefs he fell-, he was above the Charms of Frofperity, and Proof againfi the Stroke of Adverfity:, neither good Fortune puft him up, nor bad deprefs^d him -, he never thought of revenging thofe Affronts he had received from his Ri- vals, but iftd his Power with Moderation, and re- turned Civility for Unkindncfs.
He
fkVK'EFACE,
He retired at the Revolution from Buftnefs, an^ gave Jmnfelf wholly to the Practice of Virtue ; he was advanc d in TearSy and refolv'd to devote the remain- der of his Days to Eternity. I may die foon, faid he, but cannot live long ; it's Prudence therefore to manage every Moment as the lafl, becaufe it may be fo. He difcharged his Debts i?nf?iediately\ faying. This was too prefling and too important a Bufinsfs to be trufted to an Hour's Integrity, that many fuffer in the next World for a Sue- ceflbr's Negledl in thris.
One that liv'd fo well, could not die ill %for every Man's Death is a Copy of his Life, and exa^ly re~ fembles the Original. In his lafl Sicknefs he fhewed all the Bravery of a Soldier, and all the Piety of a Chriftian ; he hore the Dolours of his Difiemper not only with Patience, hut Tranfport, and looked Death in the Face with the fame Undauntednefs he often be- held the Enemy in Battle. Sir, faid he to his Ne- phew ftanding, remember you are born to the fame Fate, you may read your Deftiny in mine ; you v/ill once be in the fame Circumflances you fee me ; you know not when you muft take the lad Farewel of Life -, Death fteals upon us like a Thief, and flrikes without Noife, without Warn- ing. Seeing therefore you are never fecure, be always prcpar'd, leave nothing to Chance or Ha- zard -, a Surprize is pofTible, and, what is worfe, irreparable. Never pretend to fhew your Wit by diluting Principles, nor think you own your Reafon molt, when you leaft own your Faith ; this is to place Wit in Folly, and Reafon in Im- piety. Pracftice Virtue, this is your only Bu(i- nefs, it will make you content in this World, and open a fair Profpe<5t of Felicity to the next.
Hij
fhe PREFACE.
His Words, feem^d tip with Fire, they pierced the Hearts of all that were ■prefent, and warmed their Affe5fions ; whiljl all mourned, he alone was joyful. In fine, recommending his Soul to the Mercy of his Redeemer, he gently expired, leaving behind a Pat- tern for Gentlejnen's Imitation. Thus died Eufebius, a Scholar, Soldier, and Courtier, and in all thefe States a Saint.
Let Gentlemen learn hy this Exa??iple, they may he Great and Good •, and that they tjiay difcharge them- felveswith Glory of all the Offices of Society, without betraying the Duty of a Chrijiian.
THE
THE
CONTENTS.
fpAith ionjuted hyTraEl'ice p. 5 * Virtue may ba praBifed i» 1'o'Wns as well as in Deferts 5 I'he Tart of a Gentleman 7 Not io bjaft of Family 8
Nor Performances 9
Io avoid O.iths and Curfes 10 How to fpend Time 1 5
Reading recommended ibid. Not to he Covetousy nor Pre fu/e 1 7
{Recreations 1 8
Gaming 1 9
C loathing 2 1
Falfe Notions of Honour 2 z Of Duelling 25
itbe CharaUer of Bmus 24 Duties of a Chrijlian 25
Heaven and Helt^ why defcribed
in Scripture 2 7
'True Virtue^ what 29
Of Rejignation and Suhmijfion
to God 30, 32
God the bejl Friend to Men 5 I His Ubiquity 32
Of Debauchees 3 5
God's Grace^ and Aians Co-
operationj neceffary to pre
dure Repentance. 35
The Cafe of the Penitent Tkiff
Miftakes about Religion 39,40
It confijis r.8t in mere Ncg..'
iivts 41
A Gentleman's true B'/flnefs
4^, 47
IVfjether Gentlemen are obliged
fopraBife Vittue 42
And Lades, the fame 'y6
Of Duties to Neighbours 6x
Univerfrl Love ibid;
Againji DetraBion dj
Of the Sources of Detraffion,
viz. Pride and Envy 71,72
Of Thefty Injufiicey and Op'
prejpcn 75
Of Reftitution 77
Of Lewdnefs and Fornication 79
Prefervatives againfl Leivdntfs
81
Of the PlayHoufe 82
Of infiruBing Children and
Servants 84, §7
Of Charity^ and its Meafure
Chrijlian Behaviour out of
Fafhion Z9
The Cham Bcr of an Atheijl 92
The Supplement.
Ives of Chrijiians contradic- Cards y become a Calling J2l
•f-* tory to their Faith 1 1 3 The worth and ufe of Time 1 1 5 Ladies Employment in the Aborn- ing and Ever.ing 1 1 7 , 1 1 8 Jfith their Bufinefs at Church ISO
Inflames of brave Women 125 Bad Education ythe Caufe of La- dies Mif demean our 127 Remedies ad-vifed the Ladies : Ory The Ob^acks of Virtue removed 1 3 * Pojitive
The CONTENTS.
"BcfitlveDHties recommendedi^ Humility 148
Modejiy 1 5 5
Rules for Ladies dally l*ra~
Bice The Jjnty of a Mother The Duties of a Sol diet-
157 J 75
The Duties of a Courtier 199
The Second Part
ir^T^iIether any real Atheifts ^ 249
One Religion only favino 5 3 5
Proofs of a Deity. ijl Vroofi from the milvirfal
Confent of Mankind ^ 35^ Notion ofGody not merely jrom
Education 365
Nor from State-Folicy 3 69 Tolythelfm 373
From ivhat Caufes 37 5
The Caufes of Error 377
S,d Proofy Of a Deity from the
Creation of the World 393 5^ Proof from the Characters of
PVifdoniy vifible in the Frame
and Conjlitution of the World 406
^th proof. From Invention of Arts and Sciences 4 1 Z
^th Proof y That the Wofldwaj not Eternal 418
6th Proof 429
Atheijis Exceptions agabiji the World's Creation confuted ^"^ 5
The Endy TJfe, and Defign of the fniallejl vileji CreatureSy as Fleas, Liccy Toadsy &C.44I
Vk Proof, viz. The palpable A/if urdi ties which follow jrora the Belief or Suppojition of no God 446
The Thir
Qf^ Q^tng . Gentlemen d/Jfuaded ' from a Town Life 469 Should Jhun III Examples 473, 484 The Ml/chief of Plays 480 ToivnSparks 474, 48 z
Ladles In Hyde-Park 485 Vocal Muflck cenfurad 486 A Countrji Gentleman \, 4^9 Advice to Parents to fettle Chil- dren In time 490 How to manage an EJlatc 493 A Duny defcribed 49 7 Of Dice 505 ^ufebius'j ConduEl in the Houfe ibid. R''fieciions onLawyers 512,518 Good Rules for Lawyers 527
D Part.
of Reflitution 530
Eufebius'i Behaviour to Neigh- bours 555 Excejfve Drinking 556 A drutiken Crew 537 Eufcbins J Recreations 539 How to tak3 the Death of a he- ■
loved R'i.xtion 541
Of Ph\fi:iansy and their A-ie- tho'ds 54-
Ol T^aveUing 544
Rules for Travellers 55?
Of the Soul's hi:njortality 5 5^ The Soul is Immaterial 5 ? I Man compared withBeafls 574- Difference of Men from Brajls 577-
T H E
( I )
THE
Gentleman Inftru^ed, &c
D I A L O G U E I.
Neander, a young Gentleman^ dejirei Eufebius /o ;;?/7r«^ him in the Duty of a Gentleman.
W
Etifebius. IJf If "T" E L C O M E, dear Neayider ;
what fair Wind has blown me
the Favour of fo early a Vifit ?
This is extraordinary.
Neander. Pray, why fo ? my Bufmefs has been up
and abroad thefe two Hours ; is it not high time to
follow it ?
Euf. Ah! but our Town-Sparks have fomething of the Ovjly they rife at Night, and lie down in the Morn- ing : They obferve a moll exa6l Symmetry in Diforder, and \\\.t Lobftcrs go backwards ; in a word, they turn Nature topfie-turvie, or read i^ backwards : It's genteel and modifh to out-fleep the Sun, and an Argument of Peafantry to do like other Men.
Nean. I have left the College too lately- to be ac- quainted with the Cuftoms of the Town : I have not o- pen'd the Ceremonial^ nor perufed the Ritual alamode ; yet methinks, to turn Night into Day is an odd A^eta- morphoiis; Nature, fure, never intended Eyes for Dark- nefs : Gloeworms indeed are obliged to Night, it fets 'em off, and makes their faint Luftre fparkle with more Eclat. But why Men (hould dote on Shades, and range in Ob- fcurity, I can't divine, unlefs they long to duel with Pefts, and try a Rubber at Loggerheads ; in ihort, it's a battifh Humour, and jars with my Constitution.
• B E»f^i,
2 T'he Gentleman In/^ru^ed.
Eufeb. For all that, you muft take up with Night, and bereconcil'd to Darknefs, if you intend to Hand fair with our own 'Fown-Sparks j they are of the Family oiMaga- ra, true Sons of Night and Erebus. Light lirikes too hard on their Eyes, it dazles 'em like Opium : It even works on the Brain and ftupifies ; but then, towards the Evening they return to themfelves, and adjourn to the Tavern, and from thence lally out upon theV/atch,and manfully ftorm Glafs-windows. In fine, their Bufinefs and Reafonfleep in the Day, and rife when wife Men go to Bed.
Now I fuppofe you intend to enter into the Confraterni- ty, you'll not want moil kind Invitations : Thefe Blades lie on the Catch ; and place Centinels on Oxford Road to give Notice when a Prize draws near ; that is, when a Gen- tleman leaves the College ; and then they fly to the inno- cent Youth like Eagles to the (^arry ; they proffer their Service, admire his Parts, compliment him into Snares, wheedle him into Debauchery, empty his Pockets, wound his Soul, and ftab his Reputation; and when they have martyr'd his Innocence, and imbezzl'd his Eftate, kick him out of their Company, and fo exit the young 'Squire.
Nean. A Man, I fee, muft carry his Wits about him at Loftdon ; he muft ftand on his Guard to prevent a Sur- prize, and fufpedt Friends, not to be ovcr-reach'd by Enemies : Like the Lion he muft fleep with his Eyes open : Well, a Danger forefcen is half avoided. Eufehius, I have been dilbrder'd lince my Arrival, and thought laft Night more Hours, than I flept Minutes.
Eufeb. What ! are you fmitten fo foon ? Some Female Beauty has, I fuppofe, Ktorm'd your Heart, and Good- nature has beat the Chamade. The Articles are, no doubt, drawn up and figned, unlefs perchance you refolve to fur- render at Difcretion: But, in good earneft, has Liberty given you a Surfeit? Has Freedom gall'd you ? Will you try how neatly you can dance in Fetters, and caper in Trammels? This is a Sample of Univeriity Breeding ; your Collegians are a pack of aukward Animals, full of Wit, but without Judgment to manage it; one would think they ftudied not to grow wife, but Fools ; to lofe their Reafon, or to forget the Ufe of it. They no fooner enter into the World, but, like Children, they chace every Butterfly, and run on the Spur to their Ruin. Ah, dear Neander \ take Care j a precipitate Choice makes way
for
fhe Gentleman In fir ticked, 3
for a long Repentance ; ftifle the firft Sparks of Lo^'e, time will quickly fan them into a Flame; a green Wound is eafily healed, but a fellered one ends in a Gangrene.
Nean. Under Favour, you run riot on ^ falfe Conjec- ture. I am not Heart-fick, butTown-fick.
Eufeb. Town-fick ! this is, without peradventure, an outlandifh Diftemper ; there is not one Reape for it in our Zo»iJ/o» Difpen fa to ry: However, the Dileafe is not dangerous, for I find no mention of it in our Weekly Bills of Mortality. In what Mould, for God's Sake, were you caft ? furely you are of fome more refined, more Ce- Icftial Temper than other Gentlemen, without Senfe, without Pafiion ; in fine, all Angel, all Seraphin.
Nean. Not fo neither.
Euj'eb. What then ?
Nean. Why, Sir ; I am a Man, fubjeftto all the Infir- mities of human Nature; but I would not willingly fur- render my Reafon, nOr quit the Privilege of Nature ; I would not throw up my Claim to Heaven for any earthly Pretcnfion ; in fine, I have no Inclination to go to Grafs wiXhNebiichodomzor , nor to lie in the fame Bed with Brutes : I am a A4an by Nature, and a Chriftian byGrace, and would neither debar my Reafon, nor throw a Scandal upon my Profeffion: In a word, I'll fave my Soul.
Eufeb. Neander^ let me embrace thee; I was juft lighting a Candle (as Dioge'/ies did at Athens) to find a Man in London. I thought Piety had taken leave of out Nation, and that Chriftianity had flown over to the Con- tinent; but, God bethank'd, we have left among us one Man, and one Chriftian ; fo that the whole Species is nor cxtinft. We live in a mad World, without Method, without Order ; we feem to play at crofs Queflions : Vir- tue and Vice have changed Places, and almoft NameSj and even Wit is confounded with Folly ; Reafon confifts no more in the Ule, but in the Abufe of it. Gentlemen debauch themfelves into Credit, and draw Fame from Impiety ; the whole Bufinefs of Chriftians lies in confut- ing their Belief by their Practice: Thefe monftrous Ir- regularities have, more than once, moved me to lulpecl, that the moft wile and thinking Part of Mankind is coop'd u;^ in Bedlam, whilft Mad-men and Fools range about the I'own in Coaches,
B 2 Thii
4 T'^^ Gentleman InflruBed,
This Man whines away at a Strumpet's Feet his Eftate, his Health, and his Soul too; another drowns his Rcaibn in Claret and Canary ; he plays the Brute all the Week, and rifesa Man on Sunc/ay Morning; a third delivers him- lelf up to his Palate, and condemns his Wit to drudge for his Gluttony, he judges of Meats by the Price, not by the Tafte ; and thofe only regale his Appetite that drain his Purfe; his Study is to provoke Hunger, not to lay it, and leldom rifes from the Table till a Surfeit forces him to call for a Bafott,
A fourth has perchance received the Lye^ and in a HufF hauls out for Satisfa6lion, /. e. a Stab ; the Stage is pre- pared, and up the He.^ors '}\xmp with drawn Swords, like the RomAfi Slaves, to give Diverfion to the Spedlators: If this be not Folly and Madnefs without Mask or Dif- guife, pray give me their Definition ; it's hard to deter- mine whether this Condudt be a fitter Objeiffc for Hera- clitus's Tears, or Democrltus's Laughter; it's a Compound of Farce and Tragedy, but a Vein of Folly runs through- out the whole Mafs.
Religion keeps pace with our Reafon,and is juft regard- ed.as much. Methinks ourWorfhip fmells fomethingofPa- ganifm, for we adore God, as the Heatnens did Hercules^ with Showers of Stones and Brickbats, viz. of Oaths and Blafphemies ; this is the only Homage we think fit to pay our Maker; and indeed it is a kind of Recognizance, and is lb far commendable, as it puts us in mind there is fuch a thing to believe in, and to pray to, as well as to fwe'ar by. Now, why we fhould be fo fparing of our Prayers is a hard Qiieltion.
Some may perchance imagine the Pofture of a Suppli- ant is below an Englijh Courage ; befides, it's an uneafy F'igure, and argues much Want or great Covetoufnefs, two heavy Imputations for a Gentleman ; moreover. Kneeling is a Mark of Subjedion and Bafenefs ; for I was once told, that a Yeoman on his Legs was taller and greater than a Prince on his Knees: This is a rough Draught of our Town Wit and Religion, without one Dafh of Satyr, or Hyperbole; they are- both at a low Ebb, and God knows when the Tide will turn. Neander, Hand on your Guard, and look to your Confcience, as well as to your Purfe ; for I allure you, the one is in lefs Danger than the other i unlefs you carry a watchful Eye
over
^he Gentleman InjlruEied. s
over your Thoughts and Anions, you will fall into Snares that are laid to entrap Innocence.
Nean. However, furely God has not tied up our Duty to ImpofTibilities ; he tells us, his Yoke is eafy, and his Burden light ; and then aflures us, by the Mouth of his Apoftle, that our Power is always equal at leaft to the Temptation ; we may therefore difcharge our felves of all the Offices of Life and Converlation, without over-look- ing the Duty of a Chriftian ; for certainly God never framed our Tongue for Silence, nor our Reafon for So- litude ; we may handle them both rights as well as vjrong^ and employ them to a good ufe, no lefs than to an ill one. I hope there is no Neceffity of failing into Egypt ^ and of taking up in the Wildernefs of Thebais ; nor of running into a Convent^ or of receiving Holy Orders at Rome; for though thefe good Fathers may walk pretty fecurely to Heaven, yet I underlland they make the Voy- age alone : Now I feel no Charms in Celibacy , and be- fides, they are by Law difleized not only of their Birth- right, but even of the Benefit of the Clergy ; fo that they can claim no Liberty but that of the Prifon, no Property but the Gallows. I have no Inclination to fling up my Eftate, and as little to lay it at the Mercy of greedy Fa- vourites; nor to fly to Heaven by the way oiTybiim : I would not withdraw from Society, not' forfwear Compa- ny, nor, like old 'Timon^ disband from my own Species.
Eufeb. You have Reafon ; God condemns us not as ' Pharaoh, to the Drudgery of making Bricks without fur- nifliing us with Materials ; he proportions his Grace to our Wants, and never commands us to fight on unequal Terms ; the Advantage lies on our fide, and if we give our Adverfary the higher Ground, our Defeat muft lie at our own Door ; we may be overcome, but can't be over- powered ; our Cowardife gives Temptation the Day, not our Weaknefs.
Befides, Virtue is not confin'd to Place or Condition ; it may be praftifed in Towns as well as in Defarts; and no lefs by Courtiers than Peafants ; nay, it fhines, methinks, in a Palace, like the Sun in thQ Meridian, with Pomp and Majefty ; for what can even Fancy paint more charming and more glorious than Grandees, nei- ther abjedt in Adverfity, nor infolent in Profperity ; than Courtiers peaceable in the Noife of Affairs, temperate in B 3 thd
6 The Gentleman Infru^ed.
the midft of Excefs, unchangeable in Viciflitudes, and conftant in all the Turns of Fortune ; untainted with Lulls, compofed in Tumults, and fmiling at all thofe things, that are either expected or feared by others; than Men who have the Power to do what they will, and the Will to do nothing but what is juft and reafonable ? This is no Platonic but a Chriftian Virtue ; it is not only found in Fidion and Romance, but has been commended to Pradice ; it has appeared more than once onom Horizoft, fupported by Dignity," and waited on by all the Magnifi- cence of Power and Royalty : You may therefore hold your Eftate, without flinging up your Title to Heaven,
Nean. Indeed, had Providence cut off my Claim to Heaven, when it intruiled me with a Lordjhip^ I ihould have been no Gainer by the Bleffing ; notwithilanding though Virtue be in my Power, if Vice be in my Will, I fhall, without Queftion, be miferable : Let me there- fore defire you to favour me with fome Rules, by which I mayfhape my Courfe; you have ftemm'd the Tides of Youth, and beat back Temptation with Cou- rage and Succefs; thofe Waves that have pafs'd by you, rufh on me ; fo that the Danger is certain, my Efcape doubtful. I fling myfelf into your Arms. I have at lealt learned the firfl Lefibn of Prudence, viz. to fubmit to the Advice of thofe whom Age and Experience have fuf- ficiently inllruiled.
Eufeb. A-ly Age is on its Declenfion, yet I am not, God be thanked, afliamed to live, or afraid to die : I neither contemn Life, nor over-value it ; and therefore tX'^Q&i my quietus e/^ with Patience, and will welcome my Difcharge. I have withdrawn from the Huriy and Tumult of worldly Affairs, and now lead a retired, but not an ignoble Life : I gave my laft Farewel to the Court, not by Force, but Choice ; and indeed, it deferves no Thought but of Contempt. I have tailed of bad Fortune, and of good ; but never placed my Happinefs in the one, or my Mifery in the other ; nor have I entred into the World like a Mute, meerly to fill the Stage: No, I once made no contemptible Figure by my Prince's Bene- volence, and tho' in the Confufion of the Government, J fell from my Poll, I carried ofi'my Honelly inTriumph, ^nd expofed my Ellate tofecure my Loyalty ^ yet, God beprais'd, I am not brought to the Basket; though' I
had
The Gentleman Inftru^ed. 7
had rather live on Charity than Rapine, and wou'd foon- er earn my Bread by the Sweat of my Brow, than of my Confcience. In my Retirement, I have had occafion to ftudy Things, and to reiieft on Men, qjid have made Ob-, fervations on both, fo that. I am not quite unprovided of thofe QuaUties the Office you impofe upon me requires :- ril therefore take the Liberty to counfel you as a Friend, not as a Mailer j let us retire into my Clofet.
DIALOGUE IL
Eufebius ittjlru^s Neander in the Duty of a Chrijiiafj. Eufeb, ^rOV muft a6t tw© Parts ; of a Gentleman,
Y
latter at our next meeting, and at prefent only touch the former. Some Gentlemen keep up to their Chnrader without the advantageous Helps of Precepts, or Educa- tion ; you may read their Birth on their Faces ; their Gate and Mein tell their Quality ; they both charm and awe, and at the fameTime demand Love and Reverence ; their Extraction glitters under all Difguifes ; it fparkles in Sack-cloth, and breaks through all the Clouds of Po- verty and Misfortune; there is a /V nef^ay qmy in their whole Demeaifour, that tears off the Vizor, and difco- vers Nobility though it fculk incognito ; they are refer- ved without Pride, and familiar without Meannefs; they time their Behaviour to Circumftances, and know when to Hand on Tip-toe, and when to Hoop : In fine, their moft trivial Aftions are great, and their Difcourfe is noble.
Others feem to be born Gentlemen to fliame Qtiality ; one would fwear Nature intended to frame 'em for the Dray, and Chance flung 'em into the World with an EfcHtcheon : They are all of a Piece, Clown without, and Coxcomb within ; and fo like Foplingtons are graced with Titles to play» the y^pe by Patent : Thofe of the iirft Clafs need no Precepts, and thofe of the fecond de- ferve none ; however, Counfel may be ufeful to others ; for Behaviour is acquired like other Arts, by Study and Application.
B 4 I. To
S fhe Gentleman Inflru^ed,
I.
To begin the Part of a Gentleman, perfuade your felf, it's your Duty and Intereft to ad: it well ; for whoever looks upon it as a Matter of fmall Con-, cern, will come off with Dif-efleem ; he will follow the Bent of Nature, and fwim down the Stream of Inclina- tion, rather than ftrlveagainft it; for who will baulk Hu- mour, or fence againft ill Cufloms for nothing ? This I take to be the Reafon, why fo many in Converfation fall below their Station; they fancy a Title fupported with Means, places them in a Region above the Niceties of Breeding ; that a Sir gilds the moll unbefeeming Beha- viour, and a Coronet dignifies Rufticity ; but this is a mi- Hake ; for as Gentlemen Hand above the Crowd, fothey lie more open to View and Cenfure : For A6lions are not rated by Men, but Men by Aftions; and if thefe fmell of the Clown, or fute with the Peafant, Right ^■^orpjip- ful muft be content with thofe Titles ; for the Mob knows well enough, that Gentlemen can claim no Refpedl from Nature; they are all of the fame Matter, and the Soul of a Lazarus is of as refined a Metal as that of Dives ; and therefoi'e, if they fee no Advantage on Qua- lity's fide, but a Coach and Six; they will be apt to think themfelves as good Men as their Mafters, though not fo rich ; and' that they are beholden more to Chance or In- juftice for their Fortune, than to Merit.
IT.
Let not your Family be the Subjeft.of your Difcourfe, nor fling the Regifters of your Genealogy on the Table before all Company ; this Topick is both fulfom and ungenteel; it's a fhrewd Argument you are big of Con- ceit, and more obliged to your Anceliors for your Blood, than for your Wit ; though your great Grandfather rode Admiral at Sea with 2000/. per Annum^ if he has leftPo- fterity no other Mark of his Greatnefs, but his Vices, I fhall rank him among the moft wretched Creatures that ever breathed ; feeing the Height of his Station only raifed him above the Vulgar to proclaim his Shame, and render his Infamy more perfpicuous; it is a Madnefs to take the Meafure of our Deferts by the parts of our Forefathers ; their perfonal Worth adds not one Hairs- breadth
^he Gentleman InJruM, p
breadth to our Stature: We may enter upon their Eftates, and perchance upon their Titles, but not upon their Vir- tues ; thefe are neither entailed on the Family, nor alie- nable by any Deed of Conveyance.
Befides, whoever rakes in the Afhes of the dead, may fall upon the Stench inftead of Perfumes; for after En- quiry, who knows but you may find the Source of your . Nobility tainted with Treafon, and that the very Title you bear is the price of Diiloyalty ? Now though accord- . ing to the Proverb, Thofe Children are happy ivhofe Parents are in Hell-^ yet certainly, a Son fhould not boaft of the Purchafe, nor look big becaufe his Father is miferable: Let your Anceftors therefore fleep in their Graves, and be not fo foolifh as to difturb them by your Vanity ; adopt their Virtues by Imitation and Practice, but have a care of their Vices. I honour Nobility fet otF with Merit, but when he has no other Prop than Money and Patent, I always compare it to thofe proud Temples of Egypt^ that under gilt Frontifpieces, and azur'd Vaults, lodged nothing but Statues oi Rats and Crocodiles. lvalue more an innocent Plowman, than a vicious Prince; and prefer his Nobility who has built a great Fortune upon Worth and Virtue, before his who by Succeffioh receives one.
III.
As it is ungenteel to boaft of our Family, fo it is no lefs mean and childifli to fpend Rhetorick on our Perfor- mances. If your Prince and Country honour you with a high Employment, either in the Carnp or the Bench, difcharge your felf of the Truft with Reputation: deferve Panegyrick, but play not the Orator your felf; though you are as eloquent as Tk//y, you'll only labour to fpoil a good Subjedt, and whilft you vainly fet oft' your own Feats, you'll meet with nothing but Shame and Infamy. N. N. was an excellent Soldier, he feared nothing but Fear ; he chofe always the Fan., and was of- ten the firft Man on the Breach ; all admir'd his Cou- rage, and prais'd it; and even thofe who difapproved Ins Conduft, did Juftice to his Valour ; but this Gentleman loft at Table the Glory he had won in the Field, and talking awyiy in his Winter Qiiarters the Honour he had purchafed the whole Campaign. I did this, faid he, at the Siege of R.^ and this at the Battle of** ; had I not
feized
lo ^he Gentleman InJinSed,
feizedon fuch a Poll at**, the Army bad been in Dan- ger. One would have thought all the Generals and Sol- diers had been in Garrifon, and that N. N. with his fmall" Brigade alone, defeated the Defigns of the French. This overgrown Vanity coft him dear ; for inftead of gainino- the Reputation of a General, he went oiFwith that of a Fop, and all concluded he was too ambitious of Praife to deferve any. Your deep Rivers move with a iilent Ma- jefty, {hallow Brooks alone make a Noife and Tumult a- mong Pebbles.The great Marfhal de 'Turenne never fpoke of himfelf, but when forc'd, and even then, with Modefty; and though the King was wholly indebted to the wife Conduct of this gallant Man for many Victories, yet he never faid fo : No, he wou'd lay Mifcarriages at his own Door, and Succefs at that of his Officers and Soldiers ; this made him appear great even in his Overthrow, and generally his Moderation was more glorious to him than Viftory. Imitate the Silence of this /Zero, not thenoify Impertinence of Fools ; carry off the Satisfaction of great Actions, and let others go with the Honour of praifing 'em, and let People rather learn your Atchievements at the Stationers, than at your Table.
IV.
Avoid the modifh Rant of Oaths and Imprecations : It's an ungenteel Dialect, as well as unchriftian, and clafhes both with the Rules of Breeding, and of the Go- fpel. Cuftom indeed has made 'em fafliionable, but neither civil nor lawful ; for Vice can never plead Pre- fcription. I know it lies under the Protedion of Num- ber and Quality ; but ill things have no right to Sanftu- ary : Becaufe Vermin fwarm, muft they be permitted to encreafe ? Shall the Number of Felons plead for Pardon ? No, no, the Cuitomarinefsof ill things makes 'em worfe ; and the more they muft be difcountenanced, and taught Difcipline. In a Word, whatever jars with Religion, and cuts upon good Breeding, is below a Gentleman : And therefore in Spiglit of Example and Practice, I mufl: caution you againft i'ome Parts of Englijh Civility ; for though they go for Confem in the Englip Dominions, they'll not bear the Tefts of other Nations.
For Example ; Daynnye, fays one, I am glad to fee yon: Is not this a quaint Salutation ? Firft, to pack me away
to
^he Gentleman InJlraBed. \ \
to Hell, and then proteft he is glad to fee me fo conveni- ently lodg'd ? What Provifion will thele Blades make for ■ their Enemies, if they place their Friends fo unto.wardly ? Certainly, they fancy Hell is a fine Seat, and that the Damned are in a fair Way of Promotion ? ,
Damnye Dog\ how do ft do '^. cries another: This feat Compliment implies Damnation and Transformation too : It's a" Compound of Curfe and Raillery. I am plunged into Hell, dafhed out of the Lift of Rationals, and then, with a Taunt, asked how I do ? V/hy, a Man in Fire and Brimftone, is not altogether at his Eafe, and a reafonable Creature curft into a Dog, not very fond of the Metamorphofis.
A third very genteelly accoftsa Friend he has not per- chance feen of a Twelve-month, Te Son of a M'uore^ where have you been '^. This is an Engl'ijh Addrefs to a Tittle: It is a kind of a ftaple Commodity of the Nation, and like our Wool, muft not be tranfported under Pain of Confifcation : But furely we need not lay fo fevere an Embargo on the Ware, for it's ten to one 'twill never find Vent in any other Nation on this Side of the Canaries ; a handful of Dirt, well applied, is as civil a Compliment, though not quite fo cleanly. Son of a Whore ! There is abundance of Freedom in the Exprcflion, but not a Grain of Breeding : Unlefs you meafure Behaviour by the' Dialeft of a BilUnfgate, and the Bear-garden. Certain- ly thefe Gentlemen are Admirers of Charity ; why elfe do they dignify Whoredom ? For Whore ftands for a Mark of Quality, a diftinguifliing Charadter ; otherwife the Salutation would appe^tr coarfe and homely ; but, by their leave, few are in Love with Crofs-Bars ; and to be Brother to a By-blow, is to be a Ballard once removed.
I know we fling a Veil on thefe ExprelTions, and wafh over their Foulnefs with fair Pretences. Damnye^ fays one, and Son of a Whore ftand meerly for Cvphers, or only ferve to enliven a Period, and to make the Ex- preflion more bluftering ; I confefs Whore and Damnatiott are near a-kin, and often go together ; but for all that, the Sillinefs of the Excufe can't ftifle the monftrous In-. civility of the Compliment; for though it fignifies no- thing to him who receives it m good time, it will fignify much to him that fpoke it: For though a Friend may let fCich Curfes fall to the Ground, God will put 'em to Ac-
count
II ^he Gentleman Infiru^ed.
count ; and though they ftand for Cyphers in Englandy they may purchafe eternal Torments in Hell.
They are, fays another, Marks oi EagUp Familiarity^ pure Sallies of Kindnefs and Demonftrations of Friend- fhip. No doubt, to deliver over to Satan an old Ac- quaintance, without asking his Confent to the Convey- ance, is Freedom with a Vengeance ; but at which end of the Compliment is his Kindnefs ? In fhort, Neander^ fuch Expreffions grate the Organ, and turn the very Fa- culty of Hearing into a Burden; they are high Symp- toms of a lewd Inclination, and of a depraved Complexi- on ; for M'hen the Breath fmells rank, the Stomach is infefted. In fhort, fuch a 'Jargon is a Breach of Civili- ty, it's a ruilick Cant.^ an uncreditable Diale(5l ; nor is the whole l^offe of Bullies able to ennoble it.
V.
When Civility obliges you to vifit Ladies, pray keep your Compliments to the Rules of Chrillianity ; there is no Neceffity of laying Religion at the Door with your Golojlooes^ nor of denying God when you entertain her Ladyfliip : For certainly Breeding is not incompati- ble with Religion, and a Man may make an Addrefs alamode without apoftatizing from Chriftianity : Yet though the Worfliip of the Virgin Mary be difallowed of, we may adore Ladies without the Breach of a Statute, and commit Idolatry not only without Reproof, but e- ven without Sin : One fwears, Heaven fits in her Smiles, and Hell in her Frowns. A fecond lliles her Saint ; tho' perchance her Ladyfhip is more ftock'd with Beauty than Piety, and her Face better provided with Grace than her Soul ; A third enlarges her Perfe6lions ; he ranks her among the Angels ; and, to compleat the Folly with Blafphemy, a fourth deifies her : Thefe Pagan Compli- ments are the Standard of Courtfhip, the Scale of Ce- remony, and the Mcafure of good Breeding. But after all, Praftice can never blanch over the Foulnefs of thefe daring ExprefTidns ; every Syllable breathes Frenzy and Blafphemy ; nor is there any way to acquit thefe raving Platonicks of a Crime, but by fuppofmg 'em unreafonable. A few Pimples handfomely fprinkled would very effi- cacioufly dillodge the yJngel, as perchance her Lewd- nefs has banifli'd the Saint; and a few Small Pox would
chequer
T'he Gentleman Infrared. 13.
chequer her Divinity, and tumble the Goddefs into a Monfter j and then Holl might as well perch on her Smiles, as on her Frowns. But Raillery apart, tho' we fling Impiety out of the Queftion, fuch Addrefles are plain Satyr, and Inveftive on the Sex : For they fuppofe Women either extravagantly proud, or fuperlatively ijl- ly ; now the very Suppolition is both ungenteel and Ican- dalous. I am fenlible indeed the Sex is no Enemy to Hy- perbole in Courtlhip ; Women are more fond of thofe Glafles that conceal Difproportions, than of thofe that reprefent them ; they can't well diftinguifll between Flat- tery and Merit, and as they eagerly deli re thofe Perfec- tions that are proper to their Sex, fo they cafily are per- fuaded they pofl'efs them j for we foon believe what we earneftly delire : So hence it is, that they take a pleafing Raillery for a ferious Truth, and even fometimes a Lam- foQft for a Panegyrick ; but then an ungrateful Truth puts them into a Ferment ; it ruffles their good Humour, and fours their Blood. Something therefore may be al- . lowed toCultom and their Conftitution; flatter their La- dypips into an even Temper, rather than reafon them out of it, provided you keep within a mean, and ftep not beyond the Bounds of Decency ; but to break into Flights of Impiety, into Raptures of Blafphemy, is to play the Fool and the Atheift.
VI.
Gentlemen have fo much time on their Hands that they know not how to fpend it ; it's a Burthen and a Charge, and fo, like Prodigals, they rather fling it away than take Pains to improve it. I counfel you therefore to fet afide fome Hours for Reading; it's a handfome Diverfion, and conveys Profit through Pleafure ; the Intelled is a grateful Soil ; but then, like a Field, it re- quires manuring. By Reading, you join paft Ages to the prefent, you travel into /ijia^ Africa and America^ with- out Expence, without Danger, nay, without v/alking out of your Glofet. Senfual Fleafufes rather ftupify than delight, they play upon the Organ, and dull the Appetite, they are often brutal, and feldom innocent; but thofe of the Underftanding fliine brighter, they are of a more re« fined Metal, free from Drofs, and void of Repentance ; they extend the Facuity,and render it more rational ; they
rather
14 fhe Gentleman hiflru5fed.
rather whetDefire than glut it, and fcrew Man's topping Prerogative, Reafon, up to the higheft Pitch. A Gentle- man furnifli'd with Reading, can never be at a Lofs to fet on foot, and cany on a handfome Convcrfation ; he is always well flocked, and carries his Provifions about him; whereas others are forced to fetch Matter from the Kennel, or the Stable, and too too often from the Stews ; their Difcourfe is a Compound of Smut and Raillery, en- livened always with Foolleries, and fometimes feafoned with Oaths and Blafphemies: Nonfenfe, in fine, thou2;h not the raoft creditable, is the moft innocent and lefs blamed Ingredient. Good God ! how often have I loft Patience, and fretted away good Humour in the Com- pany of Gentlem.en o*-" fair Eftates, and of noble Ex- tradtion ; methought they had ferved an Apprenticefhip under Grooms or Dog-boys ; they eternally grated my Ears with Hounds and Horfes, and broke out into fuch clamorous Tumults, as if they had been drawing up tlie Grievances of the Nation, or pelting the Prerogative; yet after all, the Qiieftion was only, whether P///} or L/^^;- foot got the better laft Chace. Racing and Hunting are indeed laudable Recreations ; and upon Occalions may be difcourfed of; but then, to harp perpetually upon thefe Creatures, is an infallible Argument their Thoughts are mean, and too weak winged to foar above the Beaft. Some Years ago, I took a Turn beyond the Seas, and made a connderaliile Stay in thofe Parts: At my return I gave a Vilit to an old Acquaintance; a Man of Cha- racter, of Eltate, of an ancient Family, and Deputy Lieutenant of a County ; he was at Table ; a Hawking- bag hung on the left-fide, and a Bumpkin guarded the right; his Hat, Coat and Wig were all of a piece, more fir for a Scare-Crow than a Deputy ; his Memory was as fhort as his Wig; for fome Years Abfeix:e had wiped out our- Acquaintance ; he knew me not, and indeed, I was no lefs puzzled to find my Friend under fo ilo- venly a Difguife : However, at length we ren*wed our old Species, and then he very warmly embraced me with this Salutation ; Eufebius, byGod^ I ain ^InU to fee thee : I expected he would follow this quaint Compliment with an Enquiry into my Health, or latisfied hisCuriofity with a Rchearfal of my Travels ; that he would ask in what Poilurc I left our Allies ; whether they made Pre- parations
^e Gentleman Inftni0ed, 15
parations for the Siege o^ Namur, ox Monfieur ior Xhdit of Maejirichf ; whether Prince Eugefie entered CremoMa with greater Glory, or left it with greater Infamy; whe- ther Fribergen did better to receive a Stab from Mahoni^ than Quarter ; or whether this brave Baron died hke a Fool or a Hero : In fine, what Advantage ihelyKperialiJii got by the Vidtory at Lttzzara, or whether the Profit would balance the Expence of Powder and Shot, laid out in the Empire on the Thankfgiving-Day.
No, the Gentleman's Curiofity never travelled fo far: He had confined his Knowledge within the Bounds of his own Country ; all the reft of the World was Terra incognita to his IVer^ip : "He fell immediately upon the Excellency of Tobacco^ and then hailed me up to the Stable, that I might pay my Refpedl to Bobtail ; and in the way honoured me with an accurate Account of his Poultry, Oh ! faid I to myfelf, had this LieuteKant hunted lefs, and read more ; had he cultivated his Underftanding, and let a Field or two We fallow^ he might have been Com- pany for Men : But, alas ! he was the Darling of the Fa- mily ; he heftored it at Home, whilft he fhould have been at School and Abroad ; was made a Man at fif- teen, to be a Child and a Coxcomb at threefcore.
I would not have you, upon all Occafions, difcourfe in Syllogifm^ nor deliver your Thoughts in Alood and Figure : Such philofophical Cant fuits better with a Pe- dant than a Gentleman ; and may pafs in the School, but not in the Parlour. Neither prefsupon Company a f^a- cuur/i^nor Mr. Boyle's Pondus Atmojphara^ a civil Con- verialion may be managed handfomely in either Hypothc- fis 5 and I conceive Difcourfe prolpered no leis in the Days of good old Materia Prima, than in the Reign of des Cartes's third Element.
You may alio let the Grand Afo^;// fit quietly at/f^r^, and Prefter John in Ethiopia ; few Gentlemena Know- ledge travels fo far from Home. France, Spain and Italy lie more conveniently ; htMesClaret, Malaga, and Flasks of Florence, have given us fome Notions of thofe Kingdoms.
Time your Subject ; good things fpoke out of Seafon, lofe their Value. I would not harangue a Lady in Greek, nor a Country Vicar in Hebrew : For, alas ! her Learning goes not beyond French, nor his above L(»?/»; Difcourfe
muit
i6 Ty^^ Gentleman Injirii^ed,
muft be adapted to the Company ; and it takes more when it naturally Aides in, than when drawn in by Head and Shoulders. In a word, Neander^ enrich your Un- derilanding by the Knowledge of Things that become your Quality ; and when you are doubly equipp'd (I mean with a fair Eftate, and a good fund of Learning) what can you defire more, but an ordinary Stock of Prudence to lay them out to Advantage t
VII.
Converfe not ordinarily with Perfons above your Rank, nor with thofe that are below it ; that will endanger your Eftate, this your Breeding. A Man of a thoufand Pound per Anmim^ can't long keep pace with one of -ten thou- fand ; he'll infallibly lag, and jade by the way ; and per- chance be forc'd to take in at the next Goal : Or, if in time he refolve to foreftal his Ruin, he muft faft out the Riot of a fhort Carnaval with a long Lent ; he muft ftint himfelf to a fhort Pittance, and lop off a Branch to fecure the Stock : For Eftate- Wounds fefter into a Gan- grene, and nothing but the Saw or Seering-Iron can ftop the Infedlion.
But on the other fide, to herd with Peafants is a kind of voluntary Degradation ; it's to break. your Efcutcheqtt^ and to, commence Yeoman. Peafantry is a Difeafe, like the Plague, eafily caught by Converfation ; it's a Colour that takes on any Subjeft, and feldom wears off: why then (hall a Perfon of Honour forfeit his Patent without Treafon ? Clowns are a fort of encroaching Animals ; give an Inch, they'll take an Ell, and repay your Famili- arity with Contempt and Outrage: If you intend to oblige them to a Diftance, ftoop not below your Station, nor fet them on equal Ground ; if once you make them Com- panions, they'll ufurp the Authority of Mafters ; for they want Prudence to manage a Familiarity, but not Impu- dence to abufe it: But take care not to brow-beat them, nor pretend to keep them under too fevere Difcipline ; for the moft defpicable and cowardly Creatures, if forc'd, will turn and fly in your Face.
VIII.
Some Gentlemen are fo pundilious and nice, thnt they look on Bufmefs as a-thing below their Level : No, they'll
not
The Gentleman Infru^ed. ly
not look on their Accounts, tho' their Eltr .e lies in an Agony; as if there were no Difference between Pru- dence and Trading. But certainly, Wifdom jars not with Quality; and I hope, one may be a good Husband with- out turning Clown : It's no Branch of a Gentleman's Pre- rogative to be bubbled out of Houfe and Home. V/hen Expences run high, is it not fit at leaft to provide agAiuft Fraud and Circumvention ? Prodigality on the one Side, and Fraud on the other, will foon dram an Eltate to the Lees. Do not therefore ail by Deputy : To trutt a Steward too much, is to expofe his Vertue. Honefty is not always Proof againft Temptation : Men often ciieat without Scruple, when they can do it without Fear. Re- member, that Nobility ftript of Means, makes no gen- teel Figure ; it can't ftand without golden Supporters : Model therefore your Expences by your Income, and refledt you poflefS" Lands, not Mines; two thouiand ex- pended, and one received, will not balance Accounts at the Year's End: If you are wife, live on the Crop, not on the Land ; convey not a Lordfliip to London in a Bill of Exchange, nor Qdixvf Acres in your Pocket; they thrive well in Country Air, but fall into Confumptions and Hefticks at Whtte-hall and Groom-Porters.^ and foon ex- pire ; and then you muft run upon the Common.^ or live on Charity ©r Courtefy ; or Chameleon-X^t., on the Air, unlefs you had rather turn Knight-Errant on the King's Highway, or take up your Quarters at Ty^^''^- Believe me, Neander^ Poverty is unfafhionable in our Days, and Dependance uneafy ; take Care therefore of the main Chance, lay by a Referve for Age and Accidents: Anew Lordfliip does not (like a Phoenix) jump out of the Afhes of the old: No, when it's gone, Hope follows it; no- thing remains but Beggary, Contempt, Defpair, and Re- pentance.
Be neither covetous nor profufe ; Extreams are vicious ; that feems lefs genteel, and this more foolifli. I hate to fee a Gentleman, like a Snail, draw in his Figure to fave his Purfe, and not only want the Conveniences, but even the Neceflaries of Life in the Face of Abundance : This is almoft to antedate Mifery, and to turn the Fa- ble of Tantalus into a real Story. I would no more truft fuch a Mifer, than a Foot-Pad or a Cut Purfe ; he who loves Money more than himfelf,will infallibly rate it above C Honelly,
1 S fhe Gentleman InJlruBed.
Honefty, and he'll ftretch a Point, and anloofe Confci- cnce when Opportunity opens any Profpeft of Gain: For to a Mifer, Knavery and Cozenage are unqueftiona- ble Axioms^ and ought to be fuppofed as a Poftulatum : In a word, it's a bale Employment to lie on Earth, and to {land Centinel to Intereft ; I would neither fawn on Money for Money's Sake; nor dftck and drake it away for a Frolick : No, I would not part with my Liberty for a Sp(i»ip Flota, nor with a Shilling for a good Mor- row i that would be to over-value Slavery ; and this to un- der-rate Silver.
Let your Equipage run even with your Purfe and Qua- lity. Starve not yourfelf to feed Lackeys ; nor give *em a Coach (as N. N. did) to fave their Liveries. Hand- fom Regales fometimes buoy up Credit, cherifh Friend- fhip, nourifli Mirth, and breathe Life and Spirit into Converfation ; tho' they fink your Purfe, they do not drain it ; at leaft you receive Credit for your Money.
IX.
A continual Application to Bufinefs works upon the Brain, it exhaufts the Spirits, and undermines Health: Nature muft not be run down, allow it Time to breathe ; if you are always on the Spur, you'll jade it. Exchange therefore fometimes your ferious Employments for ho- neft and genteel Recreations ; they refrefh the Mind, un- burthen Nature, enhven the Faculties, and pour new Life and Vigour into the Body : Chufe thofe that are more diverting and lefs expenfive; a Pleafure over-purchafqd is a real Torment, and then if they require Study and Ap- plication, you do not fo much eafe Nature as change the Burthen. I would not have you venture upon Games of Hazard, unlefs Civihty oblige you, and even then ftake no more, than you dare lofe without Faflion : Thofe Plays, like Quick-Sands, fwallow Eftates at a fitting ; they devour a Man's Patience, and caft Nature into a Ferment. Good God ! how uneafy have I feen Gamefters ? Methought they fate on Thorns or Tenters ; you might fee Paffion in their Geftures, and read De- fpair on their Faces; they broke through all the Barri- ers of Modefty and Decorum, and diced away their Mo- ney firft, and then flung patience after it. Had Force itretcht thefe Gamefters on that Rack, I fhoald have pi-
tietj
' ^he Gentleman InJiriiBed. ip
tied their Misfortune ; but when I refleded they were their own Executioners, let 'em fuffer, faid I, nothing but Stripes can teach Fools Wifdom, nor reftore Mad- Kien to their Wits.
I met once Sir N. N. an old Acquaintance ; whither fofaft, faid I, old Friend ? lam, replied he, on an Ex- pedition : You are methinks, anfwered I again, too cra- zy for a Winter Campaign, and too old to turn Maro- deur, or Partizan : Nay, faid he^ my Bufinefs lies withi'- in Doors: In fhort, I am bound for St. James's, where I intend to fling away a hundred Guineas. To fling away a hundred Guineas! faid I, Prithee, if you are over- charged with Coin, favour me with the Burthen ; you'll play the Fool at lead with a better Grace, and lefs Trouble. But the Propofal did not relifh; he would, Gentleraan-like, keep his Word, though he loft his Purfe ; and had rather forfeit his Eftate than his Credit. He invited me to accompany him ; away we drove to the Place of Rendezvous, where we found his Antago- nift ready to encounter : Down they fat, and to it they went ; at the beginning the Dice favour'd my old Knight fo ftrangely, that I thought good Luck and he were of Intelligence. Lord ! how the old Gentleman crow'd ! Joy danc'd through every Joint, you might fee-it flufli in his Face, and gild the Decays of Nature. In fine, good Luck fecm'd to have fil'd oiF his Account twenty Years, and to have put as many more to his Credit ; but then if good Humour fat on this Side of the Table, bad fat on the other ; the young 'Squire firft took the Pet, then Clouds began to rife, which made me expe6l a Tempeft ; nor was I deceived in my Conjedlure ; for immediately away fly the Dice with a Brace of Gurfes at their Heels; then Fortune is hailed to the Bar, ar- raigned and condemned : Providence brings up the Rear of the Criminals ; you wou'd have thought this one and twenty came in a dired Line from Hercules, he play'd the Furiofu fo lively.
And now Sir N.N. was entring the Haven with his golden Fleece ; when on a fudden the Wind chopt about, and blew in his Teeth ; the Tables are turned, the Scene is changed, the Knight fumes, and the Squire triumphs; one curfes the Dice, the other gives 'em his Blefling: They fteer their Pafllons by theC^^^, and vary C 2 with
20 I'he Gentleman Inflrti^fed,
with the Cafts. In fine, my Friend flood to his Word, he left the Field, and a hundred Guineas to the Vidor, and loft all Gravity and Moderation. I accompanied him to his Lodgings ; but I found he was even lurcht of good Nature alfo. Well, faid I, do you call this Play ? Can Sport and Anxiety, Fear and Defpair ftand together ? Hell and Heaven are as compatible : I would as foon for Diverlion take a Turn upon the Rack, or lay my Head between the Anvil and the Hammer ; thefe Torments are not greater j but I am fure are lefs expen- live.
Neaytder^ You may learn by this, how ill thefe Plays deferve the Name of Recreations; fly 'em therefore as the Plague, they prey upon Content, corrode Satisfadi- on, and in Conclufion fwallow Eilates, and commend Nobility to the Parifh,
Hawking and Hunting are more manly, more genteel, and more diverting j thefe Sports are almoft as antient as our Nature, they have kept up their Reputation in fpight of all the Viciffitudes of Time and Fortune ; but then they muft be taken with Moderation, like Phyfick for Health, not like Meat for Diet. To range eternally in Woods and Thickets after Beafts, is rather the Office of a Keeper, than the Sport of a Gentleman. I blame not the Recreation, but the Excefs : For though Hunting be a royal Paftime, it's certainly a bafe and fervile Em- ployment.
Nean. Pray, what is your Opinion of Dancing and Mufick ? Are they genteel Accomplifhments ?
Eufeb. No doubt: They embellifh Qiiality, and give a pretty turn to Breeding ; they furnifh a Man with all the little Ingredients neceflary for a quaint Addrefs^ and ulher him into Company with Advantage ; they relieve a drooping Difcourfe : For when Reafon runs low, and Converfation languilhes, a Stroke of the Fiddle, a Song or a Sarahand^ well performed, may enliven it : But don't over-rate thefe Talents, nor place 'em among the firft- rate Qualifications of a Gentleman ; for in Reality they only fit you up for a modifh Addrefs, and a Female En- tertainment. Let a Man rather trim up his A-lind than his Body : Thofe Embellifhments are more nobis and rich that lie in the Brain, than thofe that link into the Feet, or perch on the Finger's End,
X, When
f7%^ Gentleman J«/?r^^^i. ai
X.
When Innocence left the'Wortd, Cloaths came into Fafhion ; they were only invented as a Screen to Naked- nefs, and a Defence to Decency ; you muft not there- fore invert the Inftitution, nor turn the Marks of Infamy into Badges of Grandeur ; for it's a Madnefs to pride in our Shame, and to look big becaufe we are poor and indi- gent: Indeed a Gentleman fhould not clatter in Sabots^ nor trudge about in Linfy-lVoolfy. Quality under fuch a Difguife would make a llovenly Figure: Be neat with- out Gaudinefs, genteel without Aftedation : In fine, the Taylor muft take meafure both of your Purfeand of your Quality, as well as of your Perfon : For a Suit that fits the Charadter, is more alamode than that which fits well on the Body. I have feen fome Fops over-flioot Extra- vagance ; they ranfack'd all the Shops in Pater-Moller- Row and Cheapjide for the Matter, and confulted the. whole Company of Merchant-Taylors for the Form ; a Man of Wat; might be rigg'd with lefs Noife, and fome- times at lefs Expence : Now, though fine Feathers make fine Birds, yet furely gaudy Trappings can't make fine Gentlemen : for the Embellifliments of Quality are Wit, Judgment, and Behaviour; an Air that's noble without Haughtinefs, and condefcending without Mean-nefs. Now thefe Qualifications lodge in the Soul, they lie in the Head, not on the Back ; the EfFedls indeed run to the Superficies, but the Caufe fculks out of fight.
I fuppofe we put not off our Nobility at Night, nor put it on in the Morning at the Toilet-^ why then are we imitten witli Drapery, and doat on Finery ? This muft be underftood with Regard to Decency ; Allowance mull be given to Cuftom and Opinion ; a Gendeman muft not be fo unpretending in Appearance, as to affect Slovenlinels; this is to facrifice one Vice to another, to atone for Vnnity with Naftinefs: Walk between thefe two Extremes; though you ufe both Shops and Taylors, depend on neither; build not your Reputation on Silks, nor your Worth on StuiFs : For in a Word, they are mere Excrements of poor Animals. Now, to make the bafeft Part of Worms and Sheep the Top of our Grearnels, is in Effeft to commence Beaft. Meander^ put on a good Humour, a fine Behaviour, a noble Difpofition, and
C 3 you'U
22 fhe Gentleman Injiru^ed,
you'll keep the Mob at a Diftance j but whofoever pre- tends to dazzle Men into Refpeft, merely with Scarlet and Gold Lace, will fall fhort of his Pretenfions- Men are not awed by Cloaths, but Vertue : Old Fabricius in his ^erkiny and Curius in the Chimney Corner, were more efteemed and feared than Caligula or Heliognbalus^ in all their State and Bravery.
XI.
Let not one Aftlon ftoop below the Level of your Quality ; be not deceived in the Notion of Honour; this is a necefl'ary Caveat in the mad Age we live. Some confound Honour with Profit, others with Pleafure ; but by the Rules of this new Syftem, Pilfering and Lewd- nefs are dignifying Qualifications : And fo Foot-pads, Cut-purfes, and Debauchees may pretend to the Right of Peerage ; but others feat it on the Sword's Point, and per- fuade themfelves it confifts in Slaughter; as if there were no Difference between Honour and Savagenefs, between a Gentleman and a Butcher : Thefe are a Race of Eu- ropean Canibah^ who worry their Species^ and devour Man's Flefli ; true Anthropophagi, who fport in Blood, and turn Slaughter into a Diverfion ; they are known by the Names of Scowrers and Duellijis ; but thefe Apella- tions are too innocent for fo bafe, fo barbarous an Em- ployment ; they ftand guilty of Murder by the Laws of the Land, and therefore are mark'd with Shame and In- famy by the Government: But befides they are condemn'd by the Law of God, and fp are at once outlav/ed by Re- ligion and the State. What, I befeech you, can ftigma-^ tize and degrade a Practice more efficacioufly than this double Excommunication ?
But, fays a Gentleman, fhall I receive an Affront ? Yes, I hope, rather than a Stab, or a Halter ; that may bejetrieved, but a Wound in the Heart, or a disjointed Neck, are irremediable. But muft I fwallow the Lye too ? Why not, if you deferve it ? The Puniftiment ex- ceeds not the Crime, and methinks it's reafonable for the Penalty and the Fault to go together : For prey refledl if the Imputation of a Lye be fo oftenfive to Quality, the thing itfelf is much more ; and thcicfore you ought rather tQ take thofe Imputations as Admonitions than Affronts.
But
^he GENTtEMAN Inftru^ed. ^3
But fuppofeit be a.Calumny, I would either contemn it or pardon it ; a Man muft undervalue the Benefit of "Eafe, and the Price of Life to fell it for fo inconfiderable a Trifle; for in the Judgment of the Law it's nothing, it will not bear an Adlion. Now, feeing we fubmit to the Opinion of the Judges in other Differences, why are we refradory in this Cafe ? The Law is the Standard not only of Right and Wrong, but of Honour and Infamy : And feeing it will not take Cognizance of fo petty an Afperfion, it fuppofesit below Notice.
Ay ! But cuftom has ennobled Revenge : And we had better be out of the World, than out of the Fafliion, Under Favour, the King is the only Fountain of Ho- nour, and I cannot find he ever made over ta Cuftom this Prerogative Royal.
But what is this Cuftom you talk of ? (/. ^.) a Club of Defperadoes^ without Religion, without Confcience, a Pack of Renegado ChriJiiaMs, who are a Scandal to their ProfelTion, and a SJiame to their Nature ; vote Murder a brave Adtion, and you obtrude this atheiftical Error from the univerfal Opinion of Mankind, for the Standard of Honour and Bravery. Why ? Such Mens Judgments are as falfe as their Principles, and their Opinions as de- praved as their Manners ; becaufe Rafcals extol Perjury, Highwaymen Robbery, and Debauchees Lewdnefs, are thefe creditable and innocent Vocations? Becaufe Per- jury, Robbery, and Licentioufnefs are common, are they lawful ?
Befides, can any thing be more extravagantly foolifli, than the Pundtilio's of a Duellift ? One has given me the Lye ; to wipe off the Affront, I muft provoke him to tilt at my Lungs. Ah, but Right ftands for you ! But what if Fortune ftands for your Antagonift ? Right is a dull Weapon, unlefs Skill and good Luck manage it ; the clandeftine Revenges of the Italians are cruel and diabolical, but at leaft they are lefs foolifh than ours; they will not bathe their wounded Honour in their own Blood, but in that of their Enemy .; and therefore they attack unawares, or by Proxy ; but we revenge at our ownExpence, nay, and upon our felves, and fometimes at a Difadvantage too ; as if to retrieve our Honour we muft die like Fools. I know not what Charms others may fee in a Stab, I had rather be fent into the other C 4 World
24 'ff^^ Gentleman InJiruM.
World by the Hangman than a Duellift; a Duel isan ill Diitemper to die of, though polTibly Atheifts may think it a genteel one; and I am confident thele Martyrs of Honour will bedifcompofed when they find their Recep- tion in the next Life falls Ihort of their Expedation.
Death, Neander^ is a great Leveller. Titles, Quali- ty, Wealth, with all their Appurtenances, leave us with the laft Breath : A Clown will meet with Refpecl if he be innocent, and a Prince with Contempt if guilty ; our Treatment will anfwer our Adlions, not our Birth; a Sca-f/enger that dies in Peace with God will be conveyed into Glory ; and a Lord that expires in Sin into Tor- ments.
xn.
Some Gentlemen refine Breeding too much; they af- fe6l a Singularity in Behaviour as well as in Religion, and fo make themfelves ridiculous to appear genteel ; thefe are a heterogenous Race of Gentlemen fome call Fops, and others Beaus ; they are a Compound of Farce and Ceremony, a Mixture of Mimick and 'tragedian ; had their Mothers made a Voyage to the Indies, I ihould fufpe6l they had fome Relation to an >ipe : For certainly they are of a mixt Species, and often the Beaft •predominates, but always the Coxcomb ; if the Beau hai more Wit, the Ape has more Judgment ; thefe Gen- tlemen fpeak like Puppets, and walk like Clock-work ; they pals the Morning between the Glafs and the Toilet^ and fummon to their Levee the whole Po^e of Taylors, Barkers, and Sempjirejfes ; they value more the Art of drefling well, than the Knack of paying : And whilft o- thers admire their Folly, like young Narcijfus, they contemplate their own Beauty : Pray leave the People and their Behaviour to themfelves, and if you can't avoid their Company, catch not their Grimaces. It's true, you muil prepare for an Attack ; for like People llruck with the Plague, they love to give the Infedtion ; if they find you refty, they'll not fail to direft your Motions, and anatomize your Comportment, and then you mult expedl to be lampoon'd in Verfe, or pelted in Profe ; but they always meet with poor Cajfdndra's Fortune, never to be believed ; their yea's go for »o's, and their Satyrs for Panegyricks : I might enlarge upon this Sub-
The Gentleman InfiruBed* 25
jeft, but I fear I have already trefpafled upon your Pa- tience.
Nean. I fee, dear Eufebius^ you are a Stranger to my Conftitution, I am not fo foon talk'd down ; how can I fpend my Time better, than in learning how to fpend it
well ?
After a fhort Difcourfe of indifferent things, Neander took leave of Eufehius with a Promife to return the next Morning. He kept his Word, and Eufebius fpoke thus.
DIALOGUE III.
Eufebius injiruds Neander in the Duty of a Chri/iiav.
Eufeb. TT's harder, dear Neander^ to defcribe the part 1 of a Chriilian than that of a Gentleman, and a matter of higher Importance to aft it well ; if a Gen- tleman falls below his Charader, his Reputation may fuffer, but not his Soul : He may not Hand fair in Mens Opinion, but this is a trivial Misfortune; for pray what great Advantage is it to be efteem'd by thofe, who cannot be fufficiently blam'd ? Alas ! their Elleem is fo infignifi- cant, that it's neither able to" credit nor difgrace.
But oh ! if our Life fwerves from the Laws of Chri- ilianity, and if Death takes us away in this Diforder, we are undone for ever, eternally loft / without Hope of Change, or of* retrieving our Misfortune : Upon this Point our All depends ; if we z€t a Chriftian well, we fliall be well received into the Joys of the Juft; but if ill, into the Punifhments of the Impious: And both thefe States are everlafting, both immenfe, that in Pleafure, this in Pain.
Now, when the Gain on the one fide is fo vaft, and the Lofs on the other fo exorbitant, does not Reafon tell us that we ought to bend all our Care, all our Application, to difcharge our felves of the Duties of a Chriftian? I will therefore draw up a fhort Scheme of the moft pref- fing Offices of your Profeffion, and furnifh you with Motives able to perfuade you to comply with 'em.
I. The
i6 7^5 Gentleman InftruS^ed,
I.
The chief Reafon why Men live at random is, becaufe they have forgot their Errand ; they fancy themfelvea to be the Woric of Chance, the Off-fpring of Hazard, Creatures of Pleafure placed on the Land (as the Levia- than is in the Water) to fport and play ; but certainly we muft have fmall Acquaintance with the Dignity of our Nature, and a mean Opinion of our Greatnefs, to frame fuch wild Ideas. Our Underftanding is too noble to be buried in Dung and Rubbifh ; and our Soul too fpiritual to be condemned by Nature to the bafe Employments of Brutes.
No, no, Neander : God's Omnipotence framed us,- and his Goodnefs defigned us for himfelf alone. He has ennobled us with Reafon to know his Greatnefs, with a Will to love his Goodnefs, and with a Soul to enjoy his Perfe6tion. He is our Alpha and our Ome^a^ the Origin of our Being, and, the End of our Creation. It's im- poflible for us to be miferable with him, or happy with- out him.
11.
But, though we are made to enjoy God in Heaven, it's uncertain, whether we fhall ever land at this thrice happy Haven of the BlelTed ; for God has decreed to communicate the fupreme Felicity as a Reward, not as ^ Gift : We muft take this City by Storm, not by Capi- tulation : We muft enter Repee a la tn»'tn : ^ violenti ra- piunt illtid. But if the Difficulty cramps our Courage, if it baulks our Refolution, if we mifcarry in the Enter- prize, or fail in the Execution, we are undone for ever; we muft take up our Habitation in Hell, and dwell per- petually with Fire and Brimftone. This we believe, Neander^ and the bare Thought of it fometimes con- geals the very Blood in our Veins, and ftrikes us with Horror and Amazement. One Theft, one Murder, one Fornication unrepented, cafts us into a Lake of Fire, in- to a Vale of Torments, into a fad Manfion of Defpair, where we fhall always burn, and never be confumed ; always die, and ever live the Objed: of God's Wrath, and the perpetual Monuments of our Folly and Difobe- dience. Thcfe two Points are, as it were, Poftulatums in Morality, and God has been pleafed to reveal 'em in
almoft
7%e Gentleman InJiruBed, ij
almoft every Chapter and Page of the New Teftament, that he might allure us to our Duty by the charming Pro- fped of Heaven, or fcare us to it by the difmal Repre- fentation of Hell.
in.
We can't tax God of Severity, nor complain of his Unkindnefs ; for though on the one Hand he draws up in Battalia all the Terrors of an unhappy Eternity to fright us ; on the other he difplays all the Treafures of Heaven to whet our Hope, and animate our Courage ; nor does he lay our Salvation in the Hands of Chance, or truft it to the Care of our Enemies. Yet, he has en- trufted every Man with his own Welfare ; fo that we ■ cannot be miferable, unlefs we confpire againft our felves, and turn Traytors to our own Intereft. If therefore we mifcarry, muft not the Fault lie at our own Door? If we will be fo ftupid as to fling up our Claim to Heaven ; fo void of Reafon as to leap into Hell ; do not we deferve to forfeit the one, and feel the other?' A Man, who in fpight of Prayers and Tears will vault down a Precipice, delerves to meafure the height of it by the Fall ; and if he breaks his Neck, who will not rather laugh at his Misfortune than pity it ?
IV.
Had God tied up our Happinefs to harder Conditions, he had not over-rated it. For all we can either do df fuffer in time, bears no Proportion with an Eternal Re- ward ; though he be our Mafter, he has behaved him- felf to us with all the Tendernefs of an indulgent Father. For he has drav/n up Articles fo advantageous for us, that we muft be mad to complain, either -of Circumven- tion or hard Dealing: He requires nothing but Love and Obedience. Now who can in ReafoTrtefufe to love an infinite Beauty ? Or to obey an omnipotent Power ? We pay him Love and Obedience by keeping his Command- ments, which are only hard to thofe that refolve to tranfgrefs 'em. £? mandata ejus ^ravia non funt. Nay, they are fo agreeable to Reafon, that we muft crofs upon our Nature, before we can violate 'em, and almoft ceafe to be Men, when we begin ,to be Sinners. In a Word, to be happy in the next World we muft be vertuous in this, Vertue is yow Duty, Neander^ and if you pradlife
it
i8 ^he Gentleman InJfruBed,
it ferioully, 'twill prove your Pleafure. For God has fo interwoven our Duty with our Satisfadion, that it's im- poflibk for a Man to be innocently unhappy.
V.
Though Vertue be an excellent Thing, it may be abu- fed. It lies within the Reach of Fancy, lUuiion, and Mifapplication ; there is falfe Vertue as well as adulterate Coin : And as the Lacedemonians trickt up their Gods in Xht S^artan'Drtis], fo oftentimes Men model Vertue by their own Paffions. I have feen a morofe Zealot eternal- ly harangue againft the Corruption of the Age ; all was wrong, all vicious, that crofs'd his four Humour. One would have thought God had conftituted him Inffedor- General of Mankind ; he kickt and flung after fo unchri- llian a rate, 'twas dangerous to come within his Reach. Now, though Scripture and Reafon call this Sin^ he mif- took it, good Man, for Vertue. His Error was Proof againft Homily and Exhortation. You might have fooner perfuaded him out of his Chriftian Name, than out of his peevifh Humour.
As I efteem nothing more than true and genuine Ver- tue, fo I abhor a Hypocrite. I hate thofe Mountebanks of the Spirit, who turn Piety into a Trade ; who pray themfelves into Livings, and whine themfelves into Re- putation ; who pradife Humility out of Pride, and Cha- rity out of Spight ; who preach up the moft fevere Mo- rals in publick, and condemn 'em in private ; whofe Zeal is Cenfure, whofe Juftice is Intereft, and Piety a Cover to Vanity. I have heard thefe Tartars lafli the World to Excefs, whilft they courted it to Extravagance : They ex- tolled Solitude, yet were always in Company, and prai- fed Vertue, when they pradifed Vice. In one Word, this Race of Men is a Medley ofOppofites, humble without, and proud within ; arrogant to Excefs, and on Occalions fubmiflive beyond Meafure; all Fire, and all Smoakj Saints in Appearance, and Sinners in Effed.
Others place Dagon and the Ark on the fame Altar. Like Jehu^ they blend Good with Evil, adore God in the Temple, and golden Calves in Dan and Bethel t Sometimes they are all Spirit, fometimes all Body : Now they regale their Senfes with a thoufand Ragoufts of the moft refined Lewdnefs : By and by they feaft their
Souls
^he Gentleman Infni^fed. 0.^1
Souls with the moft high-feafon'd Piety: One Day they furfeit with Falling, another with Feafting: Yellerday they were tired with Kneehng, to Day with Dancing: They feldom mifs a Sermon, never a Play : If you fee a Prayer- Book in their Hand, you may fwear there is a Lampoon in their Pocket ; and if the Bible lies on their Desk, a Romance ftands on the Shelf; fo that they are half Saint, and half Devil, but all Monfter. I knew a He-Devotee, who would fpeak fo feelingly of the Ex- cellency of Chaftity, one would have taken him for a Baptijl ; yet at the fame time he entertain'd a Mifs in a Corner ; and though on Sunday he appear'd in the Church with Refpeft before the Lord, all the Week he paid Ho- mage to the Lady : This is not Vertue, but an Oleo of Vices : This is to worfhip God as the Soldiers did our Sa- viour, with Outrage and Blafphemy. You may eafily infer, that the Duty of a Chriftian obliges you to deteft and abhor fuch a Conduft, but not to imitate it, one Defeat tarnifhes Vertue. Bonum ex Integra cojifa, ma- lum ex quolibet defeSiu.
That Man is truly vertuous, who is neither proud in good Fortune, nor abjedt in bad ; who defires nothing but Heaven, and fears nothing but Hell ; who avenges Af- fronts with Favours, and Injuries with Pardon; who is fevere to himfelf, and eafy to his Neighbour; who fpeaks well of all but himfelf; and never pardons his own De- fers, nor cenfures thofe of his Brethren. In a Word, Ne- ander^ Do good, and fly from evil, is the Sum of your Du- ty. This is Vertue in Short-Hand, Perfedtion in Epi- tome, and Heaven in Reverlion.
VI.
That Part of your Duty is of the greateft Importance, that immediately belongs to God ; he is our Maker and our Sovereign, we are indebted to his Power for our Being, to his Goodnefs for our Converfation ; from him we expeft the Reward of our Vertues, and the Puiiifh- ment of our Vices. Return him therefore a thoufand Thanks for the Favours you have received from the firfi: Moment of your Creation; you can't begin the Ac- knowledgement too foon, you can't repeat it too often, becaufe you can never thank him enough j refpedt him as your Father, ferve him as your Mafter, and fear him
as
30 1'he Gentleman Infru^ed.
as your Judge ; neither forget his Kindnefs in Profperity, nor blafpheme his Condu6l in Adverfiry : He is no lefs amiable when he frowns, than when he fmiies ; when he wounds, than when he heals. And therefore kifs the facred Hand that ftrikes, as well as t.iat which flroaks you : He always defigns your Good, unlefs by Murmurs and Impatience you turn his Bleffing into Curfes; and then praife his Condudl, but condemn your own.
Ah ! Neander^ a thoufand thoufand times happy is that Man, who flings up all his Concerns into the Hands of Providence, and ties up his Defires to the Laws of Obedience ; he carries in his Breaflr a little Paradife, and a Heaven in Profpecl ; he fits above the reach of For- tune, and beholds with an Air of Unconcernednefs un- der his Feet, all thofe Storms and Tempefts that dafh in Pieces other Mens Felicity ; he neither defires good Succefs, nor fears Difappointmentj he opens his Door no lefs chearfully to Want, than to Abundance: Infine^ he knows, that Command is God's Prerogative, and Sub- miffion his Duty. Can Imagination paint a more folid, a more fincere Satisfadlion, than neither to languifh un- der the Torments of Hope, nor\o fink under the Billows of Defpair •, than to fubjedt our Appetite to Reafon, and this to God, our omnipotent Maker and merciful Re- deemer ?
This SubmifTion raifes Man to the Height of Vertue and Happinefs: For whofoever bows his Neck to the fweet Yoak of Providence, neither amufes his Thoughts with vifionary Hopes, nor extravagant Fears ; he lives on his own Fund, and keeps his Defires within the Compais of his Power i he is content with the Portion God has affigned him : This he holds only in Fee, and is ready to leave it at the firft Command. He neither affedts to be . lefs, nor afpires to a higher Station ; he would be juft as he is, becaufe God has made him fo.
Nean. This State of Indifference is a fine thing in Theory and Speculation, but impoflible in Pradtice, and is rather to be wifhed, than hoped for.
Eufeb. Pray remember that defponding Thoughts only ferve to pall the Spirits, and to blaft generous Refolutions. Things are often impoflible, becaufe Cowardife makes 'em fo: Check Fancy, and you'll not encounter thofe Difficulties in the Prad^ice; Pufillanimity and Non-Expe- rience
fhe Gentleman InfiniEied, 3 1
rience conjure up to fright you. For God is no Epicurean Deity, fo taken up with the Enjoyment of his own Fe- licity, that he has no leifure to call a Thought on the Concerns of poor Mortals below : No, no, Neander^ his Providence is as boundlefs as his Being; he did not di- vert: himfelf of the Government of the World, when he had made it ; he can't either forfeit his Title to the Ad- miniftration of the Univerfe, or abdicate it. That Hand which made all Things muft of Neceflity continue 'em, otherwife they'd make a fpeedy Exit^ and fink into their primitive Nothing: He has affigned every Being its Sta- tion ; even the Worm and the Pifrnire^ he fets 'em their Task, teaches them to work, and through a thoufand Labyrinths leads all things to their perfed: Ends. Now certainly, he that created all fublunary Beings for Man, cannot be thought to withdraw his Care from him, as if he were below his Love or Concern : No, no, he counts the Hairs of his Head, and regifters his Steps in the Folio of his Omniscience,
Now God being Goodnefs it felf, he can't wait upon us with an ill Defign. He Hands over us as a Guardian, not as a Spy ; as a Friend, not as an Enemy ; he confi- ders our Conftitution, and pries into all Circumftances, that he may time his Favours, and fo enhance their Va- lue, by adapting them to our NecefTities.
As his Goodnefs afluresushe means well, fo hisWif- dom gives us Security and Caution, that he can't be de- ceived in the Choice of thofe Things he defigns for us ; he can't give us a Stone for a Loaf, nor a Scorpion for a Fifh, nor Poifon for a Medicine : So that we are fure on the one fide, that nothing befals us unawares, but ei- ther by his Permiflion or Command ; and on the other, that he either permits or commands it for our Good ; and that it will certainly prove fo, unlefs we defeat his chari- table Defigns by Impatience or Blafphemy, and by a llrange felf-creative Power turn his Bleffings into Curfes. Now, what Misfortune can make Imprefllion on a Mind fo ftrongly fenced ? It will Hand the moft fiery Trial, without an Oh^ without a wry Face ; for it has both Faith and Reafon to fupport it ? And then he that will weep that has all the Reafon in the World to laugh, muft be fond of Tears, and in Love with Torment.
It's
32 "the Gentleman InftruM.
It's true, this Do6lrine is extinft in Praftice : We fnarl at Providence, we difpute his Orders, and burlefque his Decrees J we fcream out at the lighteft Touch of his gentle Hand, and turn our felves into all the Poftures of Impatience ; we neither receive his Favours with Thanks, nor Correftion with Patience.
But this irrational Condud argues much Peevifhnefs and more Infidelity. For thefe People muft either doubt of his Power, or dare not trull his Goodnefs ; and then they deny both by Illation.
Ah! dear Neander^ commit your Concerns to the Ma- nagement of God J ask no temporal Blefling, but with a fiat "voluntas tua ; refufe no Afflidlion ; receive that with Gratitude, this with Refignation; and if you can't defire Croffes, at leaft accept 'em, and remember always, that thofe things often prove more prejudicial we pray for, than thofe we fear.
We are an America, an undifcovered Region to our felves, our Defires fly not only before Reafon, but Re- fledtion ; fo that we are fo far from knowing what is good for us, that we know not what we would be at: Our Fancy over-fhoots Nature, and (like a Fool's Para- dife) reprefents Objects in borrowed Colours and falfe Shapes: Deluded therefore by vain Glailes and deceitful Opticks, we dote by Hazard, and hate at Random j we embrace a deformed Leah for a charming ^a^/^*?/; court Happinefs, and efpoufe Mifery. But God, who built our Fabrick, knows our Conftitution ; he dives into our Tem- per, and comprehends all thofe Things we either eagerly purfue, or paffionately fly from ; he fees the Employment of thefe will convey us to etei'nal Felicity, and the Pof- feflion of thofe into endlefs Torments. He therefore gives what we feared, and refufes what we defired. Now, is it not a Kindnefs to be thus mercifully cruel ? Is it not a Favour to baulk our Pretenfions, and a real Misfor- tune to be fortunate?
VII. We can never withdraw our felves from God's Im- menfity : He reigns in Hell no lefs than in Heaven : He exercifeshis Juftice among the Damned, and his Mercy among the Blefled ; he dwells in Woods, and walks in Cities i he retires with us into Solitude, and accompa-
pie?
The^ Gentleman tnjlru^ed. 3 3
hies us in Converfation j he is in all Places, and fees all Things ; he fathoms our Deiires, he counts our Words, he fcatis our A.clions, and reads our Thoughts.
Imprint this Truth witli indelible C]iata6Lei"s in your Memory, and recommend it to your daily Confiderati- ons it will teach you both Caution ahd Refped ; it will curb the diforderly Sallies of Nature, and bind your Paf- fion to its good Behaviour. You will not have the Face to ftep beyond the Bounds of Duty, nor fcarce be tempted to tranfgrefs it. Nature, I confefs, is unruly, it will run iaway ■Vvith us, unlefs we keep a ftrong and watchful Hand over it; but then the very Thought that God itands by, will blow over thofe Flames of Paflion, that dim Rea- ibn, and hurry us into Tranfgreffions.
Before a grave Man we dare not fall into Indecency ; his very Prefence gives a Check to Appetite, and ftops Senfuality in its full Career ; So that Lewdnefs and De- bauchery are forced to retire, and give Place to Shame.
He who violates the Law in the Face of Authority, that has both Will and Power to revenge the Contempt, gives an evident Proof, that either Life isuneafy to him, or that he is not compos mentis^ and by confequence de-* ferves Bedlam rather than 'Tyburn. Yet human Juftice adts in a narrow Sphere ; it reaches but to Lifcj and can- not purfue the Criminal beyond the Grave. If there- fore the Sight of a Man, and the Apprehenfion of Death, have fuch a Tranfcendency oVer us, as to cool the Fire of Paflion, to difcountenance an unbefeeming Sally, and to repel any Afiault upon our Vertue ; certainly, a llrong Perfualion, that God is prefent, that he looks on us ta trown our Vertues, and to chaftife our Vices, cannot be lefs efficacious ; for he is Sovereign Difpofer of our Souls and Bodies; he is able to tumble thefe into nothing, and thofe into Hell ; v/e may baffle human Juilice, either by Flight, Money, or Favours, but we cannot fly out of God's Dominion ; his Anger can neither be appeafedwith Bribes, nor foftned with Tears, nor overcome with En^ treaties.
Now a Alan who with the Eyes of Faith continually beholds this dreadful Majefl:y hovering about him, with the Reward of Vertue in one Hand, and the Sword of Revenge in the other, will take Care of his Behaviour, f:nd not ie>ll his Innocence for a fleet Pleafure in Hand,
D ij^d
34 ^^^ Gentleman Injlru^ed,
and eternal Torments in Remainder. Let me therefore once more intreat you, by all that is dear, by all that is facred, to carry this Conlideration along with you in all your Bufinefs, in all your Paftimes, its Company will neitlier be troublelbm'e nor expenfive, but I am fure it will be advantageous.
VIII. .
God's infinite Greatnefs intitles him to Homage, and our Dependance calls upon us to pay it : We cannot ac- knowledge too foon his Authority, becaufe we cannot refpedt it too much : We are the Work of his Hands, the Ohjeft of his Mercy, and fliall once be eternally that of his Love, or of his Hatred ; of his Love, if we execute his Commands ; but of his Hatred, ifwetranf- grefs 'em. Juftice therefore and Gratitude ; Hope of .Heaven, and Fear of Hell, preach Vertue and Obedience tohis moft holy Injun6tions. Yet, alas! this Voice of Thunder is not able to awake our young Gallants, like lb many bewitched Samffons^ they fleep in the Bo- fom of flifcinating Pleafures, that lull 'em into plealing Trances, imaginary Delights, to plunge 'em into real Torments. One would think they either disbelieved a future State, they are fo unconcerned for the prefent ; or that they had a Patent to do ill ; or at leaft an Allurance of Pardon and Repentance. Their Study is to learn Sins; their Employment to commit 'em, and grand Di- verlion to applaud their Impieties. Tell thefe deluded Creatures they walk over Precipices, and fport on the Brink of Deftrudlion : That to live a Debauchee, is to die a Reprobate : They anfw^er your charitable Admo- nition with a Joak, or a Frown, and very coldly reply, that Youth was made for Pleafure, and old Age for Repentance. Good God ! that Men of Wit and Parts ftiould fo wretchedly fool themfelves into Ruin. Were our Souls no longer lived than our Bodies, did they fmk into nothing when vi'e ceafed to breathe, that atheiftical Rant, £fl'^, btbe^ gaude^ eras moriemur, would not be quite unreafonable. Could we look into the Future, and read our Delliny, could we call up a Horofcope of our Death, as Aftrologers do of our Life; were we fure that eras moriemur^ we might equip ourfelves to Day for a Journey to Hell, and make to Morrow great Prepara- tions
fhe Gentleman TnftniBed. 3 j
tions for Heaven. But, alas! we dwell in a P.egion, where Certainties are fo twifted with Uncertainties that though v/e know we muft die, yet we are as igno- rant of the Time, Place, and Manner, as the Child un- born. Perchance Divine Juftice may arreft us in the ve- ry Heat of our Lewdnefs : It may drag us from the Stews to Judgment : The firft time we clofe our Eye-lids may be the laft : VVe may only fleep in this World to wake in the next ; we may only open our Eyes to fee llrange Flames, and return to our Ssnfes to feel them.
Sudden Deaths are not miraculous* The Bills of Mor- tality alliire us they are too ordinary : But thefe Accidents furprize your Debauchees oftner, than thofe who live within the Bounds of Temperance and Moderation. They over'chai"ge Nature with continual Excefs, and fet all the Humours of the Body in an Uproar: And how eafy is it for thefe Humours in fuch a Hurry and Tu- mult, to crowd in upon the Heart? or to fly up to the Brain? or to impede the playing of the Lungs, and on a fudden flop Refpiration ?
But though God fhould deal more mercifully with thefe Men than they deferve, though he fhould give them both Time and Leifure to repent, it's ten to one they wili die in their Sins, and carry into the next World thofe Crimes they committed in this.
For two Things are neceflary for a thorough Repen- tance ; God's Grace and Man's Co-operation ; without that we cannot repent, and without this he will not par- don. If therefore the DifKculty to be overcome be greater at Threefcore, than at Twenty, and Grace be lefs, it's odds they'll not repent at Threefcore, but that certainly will be greater, and this infallibly will be lefs. There- fore it's odds, that the final Refolutions of thefe unfortu- nate Gentlemen will vanifh into Smoak, and end in eter- nal Dcfpair and Punifhment.
I prove the Difficulty will certainly be greater. Phi- lofophy and Experience teach us, that a frequent Re* lapfe into any Diforder ingenders a Habit, that is, a Facility and Propenfion to reiterate the fame A6lions. And this takes its Force from the Frequency of the Pra- d;ice : For though in natural Produdtions there is a cer- tain Point of Growth and Perfcdion, yet in Morals there is no fuch Term, both vicioi:s and vcrtuous Habits D 2 may
^6 T/^^GENTtEMAN InflruBed.
may go on in infinitum : Hence it happens, that an inve- terate Cuilom twifls and winds itfelf into our very Na- ture; it fmks into our Bones; and enters into our Confti- tution. Now, if all the frightful Reproaches of Confci- ence, all the Calls or Grace, thedifmal Profpect of thofc Shades below, the charming Allurements of Heaven above, were too feeble to reftrain Nature alone; will theyfilence the Clamours of mutinous rafiions, curb the Violence of Nature back'd by Cultom, and inflamed with ill Habits ? No, no: Nature feconded by a Habit (.like a Loadftone armed with Iron) draws ten times ftronger. He who groans under the Weight of a Feather, will fall under that of a Mill-ilone.
Now, as ill Habits biafs Nature, and make it more impetuous, and leis governable ; fo in our Suppolition, Grace the chief aftive Principle, is lefs. For Grace is a free Gifr,no Debt, aliter Gratia nun ejfet'y we mull re-^ ceive it as a mere Benevolence, and cannot ask it as our Due.
It is probable God will pour down upon his mortal Ene- mies thefe Streams of Favour and Beauty, as plentifully as on his Friends ? On thofe who blafpheme him twenty Years together, as on thole who adore him? On thole who abandon their Duty out oi a determinate Malice, as on thofe who fall by Surprize ? It is certain he will not: For God will not be laught at ; and can the Wit of Man invent a more coinpendipus, and at the fame time a more biting Raillery, than by trampling under Foot this Divine Gift, that coft our great Redeemer Torrents of Sweat, and Rivers of Blood, than by making his Goodnefs the Ground of our Ingratitude ? Than by refu- iing to repent, becaule he is prone to pardon? If God be juft, as certainly he is, he'll ilop the Conduit of his Mer- cy, and rain down a Deluge of Maledictions on thofe re- bellious Giants, that attack the moft High, and turn his greateft Attributes againll his own Breaft.
Nean. What you fay, as to the main, is true ; but give me leave to tell you, there is a Dafli of Hyper- bole in your Difcourfe: Man's Malice can't weary God*s Mercy ; he can pardon more Sins than Man is able to commit ; nay, and will, if we fling ourfelves at his Feet, and fue for Mercy. A contrite Heart, Eufebius, is a moving Spedlackj it difarms God's Juftice, and
melts
The Gentleman Injiru^ied. 3 7-
melts it into Mercy ; and as he receives thofe Prodigals that return, io he furnifhes them with Grace for tlieir Voyage.
Eufeb. Neander, God's Goodnefs weighs down Man's Mahce ; our Obllinacy can't tire his Mercy ; he'll give both Pardon and Heaven to thofe who ask 'em ; his Word Hands engnged, and he can't flyback. But then, where has he promifed that inveterate Sinners fhall ask Pardon .'' It's true alfo, that the moll profligate Debauchees have Grace fufficient to work Repentance. But what fignifies a Power to do Good, v/ith a Will to do Evil? There is not a damned Soul in Hell, that did not once find it I'elf in the fame Circumilances. Is it lefs miferable, becaufe once it might have been happy? Alas ! this fad Medita- tion fuggeftsnew Matter to their Defpair, becaufe it re- preients their Mifery, together with their Folly, as the fole Caule of their Misfortune.
Nean. Fray, Eufehtus, dpn't djfgrace God's darling Virtue, Mercy ; nor condemn poor Sinners to the worft of Torments, Defpair. Whilll there is Life, there is Hope. They who never thought of Pardon in their Lives, found it at their Death. What ! he who died for Man, can he have the Heart to damn it ? The very Thief on the Crofs, though abandon'd by Men, was carefl'ed by his loving Sa- viour; and for one humble memento mei, received Mercy in this World, and Paradife in the other.
Eufeb. Miftake me not, dear Neander.,, -I am not for grafping an Immenlity, nor for prelcribing Bounds to an infinite Being; I know God's Mercy is above the Skies; but then his Juftice finks below the Abyfs; jw dicio ejus abyjfus muha. We can't take the Height of that, nor fathom the Depth of this. They are both equal, i. e. infinite ; nay, they are the fame thing : For Ju- ftice is Klercy, armed with Revenge ; and Mercy is Ju- ftice, difpofed to Pardon. Why then fhould we dread it in one Drefs, as well as dote on it in the other ? I am not for cafting Men into Defpair. As it is the greateft of Torments, fo it's the blackeft of Crimes, and the moft irrational: This antedates Damnation, and gives us over to Execution before God has pronounced the Sentence. To damn your felves out of a Fear of being damned, is the Top of Madnefs ; the ne plus ultra of Frenfy : To think my Salvation impofiible, is to make it io ^ not to D 3 hope
3S 7^^ G E N T L E M A N Ififtru^ed.
hope for Heaven, is the next way to lofe it. But then if I hate Defpair, I abhor Prefumption ; if that leads us to Hell by a diredl Line, this does the Bufinefs as effica- ciouily. For can we outrage our great Mafter more, than when we bend his augult Attributes to our Lewd- nefs ? and build the Babel of our Abominations upon his Goodnefs ? and our Crimes upon his Mercy ? Is not this to fport with Majeily? to rally Authority? and to play with Goodnefs? And pray what difference is there be- tween defpairing of Mercy, and burlefquingit? This im- pious Mirth, Ne under ^ will once end in Sorrow, and thefe Peals of Laughter, in gnafhing of Teeth : But be- caufe our Libertines put a great Strefs on the good Thief's Converfion, and fancy their Deaths will refemble his, no lefs than their Lives ; 'twill not be amifs to examine the Point.
Firfi^ St. Bi'r^^ri tells us, that this Thief's Converfion is the only Example, to be found in Scripture, of a de- ferred Repentance that was fuccefsful. But, with Sub- lnifTion, St. Bcrfiard miftook in the Calculation : For this was not properly a deferred Repentance. The Thief an- fwered the firft Call of his agonizing Saviour ; the firft Glance of his Sacred Eyes wounded his finful Soul, and melted his hard Heart into Love and Sorrow.
Secondly, The Thief received Pardon and Paradife : But what did he to defervc this miraculous Favour ? He adored Chrift, not feated on a Throne of Glory, but co- vered vv'ith Shame and Infamy, torn with Whips, pierced • with Thorns, outraged by his Enemies, forfaken by his Friends : Befide, fome fay. Life v/as offered this Male- fador, if he would deny Chrilt : But he chofe rather to die with him, and for him, than to live without him. So that now the Caufe of his Death was changed, and he who was faftened to the Crofs a Robber, expired on it a Martyr.
Juird/y, God fealed his Pardon ; but this Aa of Grace was granted on the Day of Mercy ; and yet of fo many Sinners that were Spedlators of this bloody Tragedy, we know but this Thief, who was fo fortunate as to ask Pardon, and to receive it. Tell me then, dear Neander^ Should we not rather draw Motives of Fear from the Mis- fojtune of thoufands, than of Prefumption from the good Luck of one ? If you look on the right Hand of our dy-
ing
^he Gentleman In/iruffed. ^p
ing Lord, pray call an Eye upon the Left; and if you behold on the one fide a Saint, you'll difcover a Repro- bate on the other. Let therefore Gentlemen learn Fear from the Damnation of the one, as well as from the other a dangerous Security. And I counfel all Chriftians to draw this Conclufion from the different Deaths of thefc two Malefadors, that it's a Madnefs to defpair, and Te- merity to prefume; Unus eji nc difperes, unicus ne pr<c_ fumas.
Wherefore confecrate the firft Fruits of Reafon to God ; you can't begin the Pradict; of Piety too focn, but may t^olate; Nature, untainted with Vice, may be wrought with Eafe into any Form, and caft in any Mould. It's a kind of tabula rafa, a Blank, that almoft with the fame Facility receives the Chara6ters of Angel, and of Devil ; but when once it'sftained with Sin, when it's biaffed by ill Habits, and worfe Principles, you will find it ftubborn and rebellious. Be not then fo foolifh as to prefer Dan- ger before Security, and to turn Pleafure into Toil. Take Occafion by the Fore-top, it quickly pafles, and feldom returns.
IX.
Religion is the Ground-work of Salvation ; and there- fore you cannot be too tender of a thing that fo nearly concerns your eternal Happinefs. I recommend this Point to your Care with greater Eagernefs, becaufe at prefent it lies under all the Difadvantage of Contempt, and I fear the Gentry have a greater Hand in the Scan- dal, than the Commonalty. Nothing, indeed, enters more frequently in Difcourfe ; it's the vulgar Topick of Converfation, the Subjeft of our Heats, the Source of Dlvifions, and by Confequence of our Misfortunes : Yet not one of a hundred knows the very Meaning of the Word, and not two in a thoufand agree upon the Thing J the very Ideas we have of it are wild and mon- ftrous.
I have heard with Indignation and Horror, fome Gen- tlemen pronounce ex Cathedra^ That Religion is a Grie- vance ; noDuty, becaufe it controuls our moft noble Fa- culty, the Underftanding, and enflaves us to blind Obe- dience.
D 4 Otb«rt
40 ^he Gentleman InjiruBe^,
Others weigh Religion by Intereft, and proteft, tha^ Orthodoxy and Profit go together: So thatinthofeMens Theology, 'Turcifm, with a i ooo /. per Annum^ is more credible, than Chriltianity with foo.
Others again confound Religion withFa6lion, and fp to carry on a black Defignilrikc in with any Conventicle i they cry out for Liberty of Confcience, although they have none for Reformation, though they delight in Tu- mults, and feign the Angel to play the Fiend.
Others, like an abandon'd Brat, drop it at Church- mens Doors, and fancy it is a Monfter of their begetting. Craft (fay they) Jugling an^i Intereft brought it forth, whilft Superftition and Poliq' maintains it.
Bat by thefe Gentlcmens leave. Religion is neither the Produft of Spleen, nor the Fruit of Imagination; it is neither a Statift's Engine, nor a Parfon's Invention ; it came from Heaven, and was planted on Earth by Chrift and his Apoftles ; and we muft either believe it here, or burn for our Infidelity hereafter ; He that believeth, and is baptized, /ball be faved j bui he that believeth not.^ Jloall be damned,
Thefe are our Saviour's Words, and they will be re- ceived, I fuppofe, by Chriftians. The Apoftle delivers the fame Dodtrine ; Without Faith it is irnpojfible topleafe God. Nov; without doubt God made Heaven for his Friends, not for his Enemies; for thofe who pleafe him, not for thofe who contemn his Laws, and fport with his moft peremptory Commands. Again, St. Augujiine tells us, "^Ubi vera fides non ejl^ nee poteji vera ejj'e juflitia. But it's Frenzy and Illufion to Excefs, to fancy, that a Man not truly juft, will be admitted into the eternal Joys of Heaven ; it follows therefore very juftly that Salvation is a Chimaeraoutof Chrift's Church, and by confcquence, that all thofe libertine Gentlemen, who play with Reli- gion, and fport with Faith, are in a fair way to deplore eternally their fadious Impiety. I would have 'em fpend fome cool Thoughts on the Matter, ' and confidcr fcrir pufly, whether a petty, brutifh, nay, atheiftical Satis- fadlion can countervail a perpetual Mifery, and whether they would not give more pregnant Proofs of Wit an4 Judgment bj enquiring after the true Religion, than by kmpooning all.
* Dc Ser. Dciin monte. C. 19.
Tell
^ie Gentleman InJIruBed. 41
Tell me not you lead a moral Life, you walk by the 3_ight of Reafon, and frame your Condu6t by its invio- lable Maxims ; that you neither curfe God, nor wrong your Neighbour ; that you neither invade his Lands, nor impeach his Reputation ; that your Hands are not dipt in Blood, nor your Tongue in Gall ; that you defile no Man's Bed, nor encroach on his Property. Thefe Nega- tives will never unlock Heaven's Gate, nor place you in Blifs. Faith muft carry a Torch before you, otherwife you'll ramble in the Dark, and wander in Error, till the Flames of Hell difplay the Miftake, and at the fame time puniftj it.
But do you think, Neander^ that thofe Men, who talk down Religion, and cry up Morals, are at the Bottom greater Friends to the one, than to the other? Alas ! no; their Actions are as libertine as their Belief; and if we may judge by Appearance, they have no more of the Man, than of the Chriftian. For whoever faw thefe mighty Advocates of Morals, thefe Aflertors of Regula- rity, ever ftand up in Defence of Vertue, but when they adlually condemn'd it in Pra6lice ? I have often indeed heard your qualified Debauchees talk moft feelingly of Sobriety over Champaigne, of Temperance at a full Ta- ble : And I once met with a Proftitute, that extolled Chaftity like a Veftal. You muft therefore, when you meet with Infidel Moralifts, fuppofe they only commend Verlue in jeft, but praclife Vice iixgood earneft ; and that they are as far from enflaving their Paffionsto the Laws of Nature, as their Judgments to Divine Revelation.
Take not Religion upon Credit ; there are in the World Teachers of falfe Tenets, as well as Coiners of falfe Crowns ; and as you bring thefe to the Touch- Stone, fo you muft bring thofe. To believe, you know not why, is rather Stupidity than Faith; it is to unfence Religion, to lay it open to the weakeft Allault of Schifm and Herefy. In fine, to believe nothing is Madnefs, and to believe any thing Folly. He is truly happy who walks between thefe two Extreams, and neither believes too, jnuch por too little.
X.
The Religion you muft embrace, is that which Chrift
i'evealed, and his Apoftles preached : This may be de-
' ■ ■ ■ ' nied
42 ^he Gentleman InJlraBed.
nied by a Jew or 7«ri, but not by a Chriftian. For, be- ing God, he had Authority to command, 'and we have an indifpenfible Obligation to obey ; nor could he fet up Impoftures for Truths, or impofe Falfehoods under the Ma^k of Divine Revelation. The Apoftles indeed were Men, but inlpired from Heaven, and confequently no more fubject to Error, than the Divine Spirit that gave his Oracles through the Organs of their Mouths.
This is a Summary of your Duty to Goa : That vou owe your Neighbour fhall be the Subject of our next En- tertainment. In the mean time you mull be my Gueft to Day, pray refufe me not the Favour.
Neai2. I sm at your Command J but let me defire you to give me thefe excellent Documents in Writin* - they are too long to be remembered, and too ufeful to be forgot.
Eufeb. ril comply w^ith your Defires, and at my Lei- fure fet down vv'hat I can call to Memory.
DIALOGUE IV.
Whether Gentlemen are obliged to praiiife Vertue.
" O Carce was Dinner ended, but in came Eleuthcrius, *' O an Acquaintance of Eufebius ; he was a Gentleman *' of a worthy Family, and of an Eftate fuitable to his ** Chara<^er. Liberty and Pleafure were his darling " Pallions ; and I have heard him fay, he had rather " want Grace than Wit, although he had no great Pro- " villon of either. He could not endure to be crowded *' with Vifits, or yoaked in Ceremony, becaufe fuch *' Formalities entrenched on Freedom, and put Liberty '* under Conftraint ; and for this Reafon he never went to *' Court: For he compared Courtiers to fo many Slaves, *' who move in Fetters, and live for others, not for them- ** felves; fometimes to worlc'd-down Labourers, more fit ** for Sleep than ricafare. In fine, he valued Eafe above *' Greatnefs, and Senfuality above Confcience, fo that his *' Name jumpt with his Humour ; his Religion was of " the laft Edition, that is, Puritanifm cut on Independency^ ^' and garnillvd with an Oleo of upftart Novelties ; he
" afcribed
T'he Gentle M 'AN Injlru^ed, 43
«« afcribed Man's Juftification to Faith alone, and there- *' fore condemned good Works as heterodox, as En- '* croachments upon Chriftian Liberty, and a Grievance *' to the Subjeft: Hence he hated Humiliation-Days, *' and could never be perluaded to fail till he had regaled " his Appetite. One Day he moved that the Statute de " comburendo Hceretico might be revived and executed *' upon a Perfon for faying that ejiote perfect was ad-^ " drefled to Gentlemen ; he looked upon it as a fcan- *' datum magnaium^ and a clipping of the Privilege of *^ Peerage. In fine, he was of Opinion, that Fancy was *' the only Rule of a Gentleman's Faith, and Pleafure •« that of his A6lions.
Eufeb. Welcome, Eleuiherius^ pray fit down. Why fo thoughtful and recollefted? I fuppofe you are come from your Devotions, Morning- Service is juft done. Eletithe. Why, Man, this is not the Lord's-Day. Efifeh. Pray of what Religion are you ? Eleuthe. I am a Chrijlatt.
Eufeb. Ah, that may be, butof what Perfuafion? For that Notion reaches a great way ; There are Chriflian Papijls, Chriflian T'nrki^ and Chriftian Infidels ; and then there are Proteftants, and T'rue ProteftuMtSy and in fine, there are Et C(Ctera ChrifHans^ with which of thefe do you convene ?
Eleuthe. With all, and with neither; that is, I have drawn off the Spirits from each, and left the Caput mor- tuum behind ; in (hort, my Religion is new and modifh : 'Tis grinned at indeed by fome, but pradlifed by the greater and more witty part of the Nobility ; 'tis Refor- mation upon Reformation.
Eufeb. Metal upon Metal is a Solecifm in Heraldry, and why not Reformation upon Reformation in Religi- on? But under Favour, if general Pradlice hits right with the Precepts of your Religion, they are fly-blown ; and were I difpofed to doggrel it, I would only glofs upon that Texx. Follow my Counfel, Eleutherius ; fay com- mon Pradlice clafhes with its Maxims, or elfe you'll give too great an Advantage to Criticifm and Enquiry. For i^ what you fay be true, your Religion is without Fence, without Rampart, and a little Reafon will batter the whole Fabrick about your Ears ; for when the Queftion jis about Good and Evil, Practice Hands on the wrong fide.
3ut,
44 ^he Gentleman Lijim^ed.
But, Sir, let us wave Difpute ; fuppofing. you are a Chriftian, what Harm is there in going to Church on a Feria ?
Eleuthe. What Harm is it to fink my Charadler, and fling up my Charter?
Eiifeb. Why, Pray ing and good Workscome npt with- in the Statute of Treafon, I hope. ■
Eleuthe. Take care, you may flip into a Praemunire before you are aware. Liberty and Property are edged Tools now-a-days, few have meddled with them with- put a Scar.
Enfeb. You are in a very merry Vein to Day, but me- thinks the Subjed: bears no Raillery. Prithee (Drollery apart) what do you mean by Liberty, Property, and Prsemunjre i*
Eleuthe. In fhort then, Gentlemen are not tied up tQ Works of Supererogation, to Vertue, Perfection, and twenty other Niceties ; all the World knows that Chri- llians are free-born Subjedls, exempt from the Bondage of Precept and Ceremony. They date their Liberty from the Moment of their Baptifrn ; and a learned Clerk, let me tell you, was of Opinion, that the very 7>n Com- mandments expired v/ith the Synagogue. Now, Sir, to bring Gentlemen upon their Knees to incumber their Li- berty with Laws and Statutes, is to touch them in the molt fenfible Part. Engl'ijhmen will Hand for their Birth- right, and not give up tamely foconfiderable a Privilege; ^nd if you ilrive to wreft it out of their Hands, you may perchance repent of the Attempt. You will have to do with Numbers and Power: And though Truth Hands for you, if Force fides againft you, the field will be loft.
Eufeb. This is Liberty indeed with a Vengeance. Na- ture at this rate, and Senfuality, are let loofe, and have a large Field to walk in. Becaufe Chrift came into the World to banifli Sin, A'lan may open the Gate to all Abominations ; he may break through all the Barriers of Nature, Reafon and Religion ; he may cozen and mur- der not only with Impunity, but alfo with Devotion. I would have you draw up a Petition againft Goals, Pillo- ries, and Execution ; nay, it would not be amifsat your pext Coffee-Houfe Aflembly, to vote down Hell alio as a Grievance to the free-born Subjects of the Covenant.
Eleuthe,
^'he Gentleman Injfru^ed. 45
Eleuihe. Nay, indeed the Parfon ftrain^ the Point, he has over-ftiot the Truth and himfelf too; but I'll main- tain at leaft that Gentlemen are not bound up to what Di- vines call Vertue and Perfeftion ; thefe Fooleries look well enough in a canonical Caflbck, or a Clergyman's Drefs, but in Scarlet and Gold Lace they make a lean Figure, they walk in Embroidery, as little David did in Saul's hrmoVi^^ very aukwardly, and rather furnifli Mat- ter for Diverfion, than for Edification.
Etifeb. Though this Thefis has lefs of Scandal than the former, I am fure it is equally falfe. For tell me, have not our Gentlemen and topping Mortals received from the liberal Hands of God, a far greater Allowance of Favour, than Vulgars ?
Eleuihe. No doubt of it; Nobility it felf is a Favour of the firft Clafs ; it raifes a Man above the Crowd and Smoak of the World, it entitles him to Honour andRe- fpe6t ; the Prince moves here below, as the Sun does a- bove in Glory and Magnificence ; Gentlemen are Stars placed above him for Pomp,State,and Ornament ; befides, Gentlemens Bodies have a finer Texture of Parts, than thofe of a meaner Condition ; their Complexion is more bright and fprightly ; their Air more polite ; in fine, Na- ture is like Carvers, who flubber over thofe Pieces that are condemn'd to Obfcurity, and polifh thofe with the laft Exaftnefs that ftand in View.
Eufeb. You argue right for me ; but then you confute your own Thefis. For if Gentlemen have received more Favours than the Peafant, certainly they are obliged in Honour, as well as Duty, to make a more ample Return of Gratitude. For, fuppofe a Prince has raifed one from the Degree of a Page to that of a Lord or Captain of his Guards, that he has at the fame time flung in 1 2000 /. per Ann. to fupport the Title, and fet ofFhis Dig- nity ; has not this new-dated Peer a more ftrait Obli- gation to ferve his Royal Benefaftor, than a Dray-man, that only enjoys the common Protection of the Govern- ment? This is our Cafe to a Hair. You grant on the one Hand, that fuch a Man lies not only under the com- mon and fundamental Duties of a Subjedl, but alfo un- der the additional Ties of Gratitude to ferve his Prince ; anion the other you confefs, that God has with greater Profufcnefs pour'd out his Liberality on Gentlemenj than
en
^6 ^he Gentle m'a n Injlru^ed,
on Clowns and Tradefmen ; why then is not their Obli- gation greater to lerve him ?
Eleuthe, Their very Station and Rank is their Patent of Exemption ; in fhort, they have no time : For you mull allow a Gentleman ten Hours for Sleep, a Quarter for his private Affairs ; two Hours to faunter from the Stable to the Dog-kennel ; three for Dinner, and as ma- ny for Supper j almoft fix for the Tavern, Coffee-houfe, and Theatre : So that you may fee here remains no time for God and Vertue.
Eufeb. Your Arithmetick over-balances your Chriftia- nity. Is it not ridiculous, I mean impious, to take the length of a Man's Duty by his Pradlice, to argue from Fa61: to Right, and Subpaene Tranfgreffion to witncfs for the Breach of a Precept ? You have carv'd out a Gentle- man's Time exadtly enough, but not juftly ; and I doubt much whether he will ftand to it in the next World, tho' he may perchance in this. God bids 'em watch and pray in the Gofpel ; and St. Paul in his Epillle recommends Sobriety and Chaftity. Now I think Men feldom watch or pray while they fleep, and as feldom learn Sobriety in Taverns, or Chaftity in Brothels, or Morality in profligate Converfation ; tell me then not what Gentlemen do, but what they fliould do, which in fhort is this : As they have but one Affair to manage, which is their Salva- tion, fo all their Thoughts and A6lions muft look that way; if any Motion warps from this Center, they fwerve from their Duty > they muft baulk Appetite, not gratify it; and either ilifle Paflions or fetter them ; they mult be humble in Profperity, and great in Adverfity ; /. e. they muft bear that with Moderation, this without Clamours or Impatience; they muft rather forfeit their Lives than Confcience, and poftpone Pleafure to their Duty. Thefe are the Offices of Gentlemen : For Men were plac'd in this World to cultivate Vertue, and to enjoy the Fruit of it hereafter ; though they labour and fweat from the Cradle to the Coffin, to advance their temporal Concerns, they forward their Mifcry, and interrupt their Happi- nefs; they are Strangers tp themfelves, and only Guefts in their own Houfe i they drudge continually, yet do nothing, and arc laborioufly idle. Tell me not then of Sleep, Vilits, Hories, Hounds, Taverns, and Playhoufes ; thefe Things, with fome grains of Allowance, may be per- mitted-
^e Gentleman InfrttBed. 47
mitted Gentlemen as Amufementsand Diverfions,but not as Bufinels; their Bufmefs, their grand Concern, and their only Concern, is God*s Service, and their Salva- tion ; and if they fquander the precious Moments of Time he has afforded them, they abule the Gift and the very end of their Creation.
Eleuthe. You are warm, methinks, and prefs very hard on Quality; but I fuppofe you are only in the Vein of Bantering, and intend to (hew how well you can manage an ill Caufe, and that Wit and Dedamation can fome- timesfupply the Place of Reafon and Argument; thou ait excellently qualified for the Pulpit ; thou haft Words and Inveftive at Command; prithee off with thy Jump,' and on with a Caflbck ; thou wilt run down Vice at an unmercii'ul Rate, and talk Debauchery out of Counte- nance ; no Sin will ftand thee, no Herefy aiTront thee; but, by the by, Eufebius, you are fubjed: to flip as well as your Neighbours; and fometimes your Paffion runs fo faft, that it dillances your Reafon : For I think you grant that the bare Obfervation of God's Commandments will carry a Man to Heaven, what then have we to do with your Works of Supererogation, Mortification, andAufte- rities? The very Word implies Counfel only, not a Pre- •ccpt, and by Confequence no Obligation.
Eujeh. I grant what you defire, but then I mull add, that without thefe Works of Supererogation, as you call 'em, you'll never keep ihofe Commandments. You can't hit a Mark unlefs you level higher. Gravity finks the Arrow under the firft Line of Direction in Spight of the Impulfe. This is our Cafe, Nature draws towards the Center, no lefs than Weight ; 'tis wanton and liber- tine, and loves to range in the Latitude of fenfual Plca- fure, not vv'ithin the Compafs of Law and Regularity. Now if you loofe the Rein, and give it the whole Line of Duty to play in, 'twill break through that Rcilraint, and carry you beyond it. For, let me tell you. Appe- tite .is not carefied into Duty, but beaten into it, and Pallions are not to be tamed by Condefcendence. .Like the Mobile, the more Liberty you give 'em, the more they ask; they muft be dieted and brought low, other- wile they'll fly in your Face. In fine, if you v/ill not have 'cm ask what is unjufr, refufe 'em v.'hat is lawful ; befides. Indulgence anus 'em, it gives 'em a Profpecl: of
their
48 51^5 G E N t L E M A N InflruBeL
their own Power and your Weaknefs; and then if each iingle one be a Match for a Giant, who can refift the whole Band drawn up in a Body? You boggle at great Sins, but fwallow httle ones Without Scruple or Rcmorfe ; you fhut your Ears againft the inward Calls of God's Grace, and ftruggle with his Infpirations. All thefe things are pfetty Quarrels with your Maker ; they are Contempts and Difrepeds", though not Treafons. In fine, they are Sins. Now, whofoever dare look a little Sin in the Face without Horror, Will foon commit great Ones with Pleafure; for they are both really Sins, and muft be re- ipented of; the Difference lies only in the Greatnefs on the one lide, and in the Littlenefs on the other. When Ma- r'tus was fent againft the Cimbrl,, his Soldiers durft not look the Enemy in the Face ; their gygantick Stature and barbarous Afpeft cow'd the Roman Bravery : But when they had beheld thefe barbarous Germans three Days from the Camp^ their Spirits revived, and their congealed Courage began to circulate through every Vein ; they not only fought 'em, but overcame. Juft fo a Man educated in the Principles of Chriftianity, can- not think of the Breach of a Commandment, without Trembling, without Convulfions ; but then he Hides into trivial CommilTions: At Irrft, a Damp arifes over his Sto-' mach, he is crop-fick, uneafy,.he continues on his Courfe, and Confcience begins to ilumber; its Reproaches are faint, its Strings fcarce perceptible; Cuftom flings in a Dofe of Opium, and then it falls into a Lethargy ; and Xvhen Man is once arrived at this Pitch of Infenfibility^ he boggles at no Impiety ; he breaks through God's Com- mands, and will foon ftorm Hell to fatisfy Paffion. From whence comes this, but from your Principle, That Gentlemen are not tied up to Vertue, Patience, Humility ? For did fuch Gentlemen mortify Appetite, and crufh Senfuality in the Cradle ; did they place all their Satis- fadlions in an abfolute Obedience to their Maker's Will, and never allow Nature and Senfes any Play-days, they would not have broke open the Inclofures of Duty, nor left all in common to Licentioufnefs ; they had never made their Inclinations their Law, nor Pleafures the fole Boundaries of their Aftions: For thatAphorifm is moft true, Nemo repente fit turpijjimus^ no Body jumps into ill on the fuddain^ Negligence and Diftruft weaken God's
Com-
T'h Gentleman IiiftruM, 4p
Commands, before we venture to break 'em. Now fup-^ pofing all Men are oblig'd to Vertue, it naturally follows, that this Obligation lies harder on Gentlemen.
Firji, They lie more in the reach of Temptation, than People of an inferior Rank ; more in view of the Enemy ; their Circumllances then require Vigilance ; they muil Hand Centinel, and place Out- Guards for fear of a Surprize. A poor Man that can fcarce furnifli Necellaries for Life, has neither the Means nor Thought to pamper Luxury ; Nature is work'd down, and ra- ther cries out for Reft than Pleafure. In fhort, he can fcarce Live, much lefs Riot; Pride can't come at liim, it muftpafs through Muck, Smoak, and Penury to reach him. Now this Vice is too high ftomach'd to ftoop fo low, it loves not to lie on a Dunghil, or fleep on Straw ; and a Man that daily fees a:nd feels nothing but Want and Mifery, muft be mad before he can be proud, or grow vain upon any fond Prefumption : Befides, Appetite is fo kept under by Neceflity, that it can fcarce crawl ; its very Delires reach no higher than Bread to fubdue Hunger; and Clothes to fence off Cold, and veilNaked- nefs. No ill Objeft palles through the poor Man's EyeS into the Heart ; they draw in no Species, but thofe of Beafts and Dunghils; fo that whatever they behold is either rebating or innocent. Li fine, they are below Temptation; and like a fmall difmantled Village, not worth feizing. But Gentlemen ftand the Mark of every Temptation, the World, the Flefli, and the DeviJ, feem to have enter'd a tripple League againft them ; they are mark'd out for a Slaughter and Sacrifice, they live in the midft of Plague and Infe6lion, and can't take one Step without meeting Danger, nor breathe without ta- king in Contagion ; the World fawns on them ; PalTions revolt, and the Devil cafts Nets to enihare them ; line Sights debauch the Eyes, Mufick the Ears, Ragou's the Tafte, Perfumes the Smell, and falfe Principles the Un- derftanding ; Wine heats the PafSons, and Delicacies put *em in a Ferment; fo that a Gentlem:in is befetonall fides ; each Vice batters his Conftancy, and ail'aults his Innocence. Now, what way can he come off with Vi- d:ory? He muft raife Counter-Batteries, and difmount thofe Engines that play upon him ; he muft make a Sally, and f.\ce Pride with Humslii-v, I uxury with Continency,
E Intern-
50 ^he Gentleman Inftni^ed,
Intemperance with Sobriety, and Love of Pleafure with that of Duty : In Morals as well as Phyficks Contraries alone defeat Contraries. Does not Nature tell us, as well as Experience, that when the Attack is brisk and vigorous the Place will infallibly be taken, unlefs the Defendant beat off Force with Force, and tire out the Affailants with Refolution?
Secondly^ The Faults of the bafer fort of Mankind are perfonaL They never fpread ; like an Apoplexy they llnke but one ; the Mifchief ends where it begun, and one Lifefatisfies its Fury. But Gentlemen's Crimes be- come univerfal, like the Plague, they fweep away whole Families, and drive Mortality and Defolation before 'em. For the vulgar are an apifli Generation, rhey live on Imi- tation, and are carried away by the Example of great ones, as the inferior Orbs by the Motion of the fuperi- or ; fo that if a Mailer throws his Vices among the Family, they are foon pick'd up, and wore as Robes of Honour. For Servanes that know their Fortune depends on a Mafter's Smile, will not eafily difpleafe him. They eye every Motion, ftudy his Humour, and ftrikein with his Inclination : They applaud his Extravagancies firft, and then adopt them by Practice. And thus by this abo- minable Complaifance, Slaves oftentimes work them- felves into their Mafter's Favours, and not fcldom into their Eftates and Dignities. And then when Vice is fo extravagantly rewarded, both with Eftate and Pleafure, when a Man can debauch himfelf into a competent For- tune, without other Charges or Expence, than that of Confclence, 'tis odds he'll venture on the Enterprize. Beiides, Sin's fupported with Efcritcheon and Title pafs for Grandeur: Nay, and Vice at the Head of a pompous Retinue is often miftaken for Vertue. For the Vulgar judge by the Eyes, not by Reafon ; and whatever ap- pears great, they conclude good, as if Glittering and ya- lue were fynonymous. Who has fpread this Illulion through tlie whole Mafs of thefe Morals, but the Nobi- lity ?• Gentlemen therefore, befides the dired Obligati- on of Obedience they owe to God, lie under a col- lateral one of Charity towards their Neighbours, and by Confequence, their Failings carry Scandal along with 'em, as well as Difobedience ; fo that every Crime they commit may be call'd Legion,
Eleuths,
the Gentleman Infiru^ed. ji
Eleuthe. 'Tis time to take a little Breath, you'll over- heat your Lungs, and difcompofeyour Fabrick. But pray. Sir, under favour, are Mafters Gaolers ex officio ? or muft they be Bail for their Servants good Behaviour ?
kufeb. No, but then they muft not be their Murderers.
Rleutbe. Why, I fuppole you don't intend to caft Ican- dalous Refledlions upon the vi^hole Progeny of Mafters ? Have a care, they may bring an A6tion of Calumny a- gainlt youj 'tis dangerous for a fmgle Man to engage with Numbers.
Enfeb. Let us not difpute of the Name, I fay you ftab Souls ; if this be not Murder, 'tis fomething worfe ^ and if our Laws take no Cognizance of it, God's do.
Eleuthe. What, Mafters muft play the Chaplains to their Family, as N. N. did ; they muft on with the Surplice and Tippet, and preach to the Text o^ Fifth ly^ Belo'ved, it itfo^ Is our Brother gone aflray ? Tea verily to Perdition.
Eufeb. Laughing and Drollery are great Reliefs at a non-plus. I have often feen fome in Converfation, when their Stock of Reafon was laid out, extream lavifli of fuch Impertinencies. Leave the Pulpit to the Parfon, but preach within your own Walls ; at leaft by Example : This is more perfuafive than Words ; 'tis within your Sphere, within the Liberties of your Office and Obliga- tion too; or at leaft flirowd your own Abominations un- der a Cover ; let them not take Air, they'll lit more eafy on your Confcience, and not entangle others; if you'll not couple together the Office of Chaplain and Mafter, don't that of Gentleman and Devil.
Eleuthe. I perceive by your Difcourfe, that Gentlemen will not gain your good Will, unlefs they put on Fetters, and fee their Keepers. Slavery is not fo valuable a Blef-^ iing, as to be purchas'd. People often buy Liberty, but feldom Chains. I muft ftand forfooth upon Refervednefs and Ceremony with my Lacquey or Groom., put a Re- ftraint upon my Freedom, mure up my Mouih, andftifle Mirth, or elie cry out, Jack^ under Favour ! Or, prt^y be not fcandaliz\il Is not this to put Jack in the Coach, and perch my Lord behind it i* To place Tom in the Parlour, and bind over Right Worjjjipful to the Kitchen ? -In fhort. Speculation and Theory may approve your Morals, Pra- dice cannot. We hire A-Ien's Service, not their Devotion* E i Eujel>>
52 ^he Gentleman Injiru^ed,
Etifeb. Very well, according to your Cafuiftry, Prece- dents vie the standard of Right, and then in the hmi Figure and A4ode it follows plain enough, that becaufe Men damn themfelves, they do it luftly, and we are e- ternall}' miferable by Law. The Confequence is logical enough, but not too Chriftian. However, if Hell have fuch wonderful Charms, run into its Embraces : But re- member there is no return; and look before you jump, elfe you may condemn your Folly, but not amend it. quick Refolutions are foon repented.
Eleuth -i lu arofe in a Heat^ and walked about the Room, his Pulje beat high^ and one might read the Trouble of his Mind on hii Cheeks.
Eleuthe. I love not thofe fevere Morals, they cow the Spirits, disjoint Converfation, and clog Freedom. Spleen begot 'em. Melancholy nurs'd 'em, and Envy recom- mended them to the Pulpit. For I find thofe Men are the great Companions of Vertue, that are not able to be vicious ; and thofe declaim moil againft Pleafure that are pall enjoying it. Yet thele falfe Devotees will needs impofe on Gentlemen, and let their Impotence as a Law for others.
Eufeb. Look ye, there is no Harm done ; you are ftill Mafler of your Pradlice, though neither of us can com- mand Principles ; thefe come not within the Precin6l of your Liberty ; are neither fubjedl to Change or Alterati- on ; Semper idem is their Motto. In a Word, Sir, I mould not my Difcourle to an Humonll's Inclination, but to the Rules of Truth. Judgment and Convidlion move my Tongue, not Adulation. If I have impofed on you, unmafk the Impofture ; if not, let good Humour run in its ordinary C!)hannel. To llrike in with a Patient's Dif- eafe, is not Kindnefs but Cruelty; and I believe you had rather be eafed of a Dillemper with Coloquintida, than to be lent into the next World with Juleps.
Eleuthe. It's true, but I would not be debarred of El- bow-Room, not willingly fit in the Stocks^ or be awed by a Groom or a Foot-Boy. I would not bid Defiance to Confcience, nor War upon the Almighty. I am wil- ling t© condefcend to an Agreement upon honourable Conditions.
Eufeb. What ? Will you Hand upon Terms with your Maker! and Article with your Creator? id eji, you'll
vouchfafe
7'he Geutl^maij ItifiruBed ^^
vouchfafe to be his Servant, provided he takes off all Reftraint from Nature, and give you leave to live at Difcretion ? Fye, fye, Eleutherius, you are too weak to grapple with the (Omnipotent, when he commands you muft obey.
Eieuthe. Right, when he commands ; the Queftion is not de jure, but de fado, not whether he can command thele Trifles you fpokeof, but whether he has commanded 'em. For in fhort, wc bawl upon the Topick ofVertue and Vice, and yet we fcarce know what we wou'd be at. For what one Country approves another condemns; and what defervesthe Halter under one £/?z^(a^/o« merits a Pa- tent under another. The Lacedemonians rank'd fubtil Thefts among the Vertues, and punifh'd your clumfy Lurchers; as if the Sin conlifted in the Difcovery alone. In other Places it's an A6t of Piety to feed heartily on a deceafed Relation, and an unpardonable Crime to de- liver a Father over to the Mercy of Worms.
Eufeb. What do you mean ?
Eleuthe. I mean, that Good and Evil, Right and Wrong, Vertue and Vice, lie much in Fancy and Educa- tion ; that Policy and Cuftom coin thefe different Noti- ons. Why elfeisthe fame thing Good under one Meri- dian, and Evil under another ? Popery in ltaly\ France, and Spain, is voted orthodox ; in England heterodox. Beyond Seas Fafting and Celibacy are meritorious., in Eng- land Celibacy is fuperftitious, vain and hypocritical. So that in Conclufion, Good and Bad vary with the Cli- mate, and by Confequence take their Being from Imagi- nation, Interefl, or Civil Authority, unlefs you'll lay that all Mens Reafon is not of the fame Species.
Eufeb. No doubt, you have harangued excellently on the Text of Libertinifm ; why don't you confound all Religions, as well as all Adlions?
Nean. I believe he does : For if Vertue and Vice differ only in Name, .Faith and Infidelity may eaiily be recon- ciled, and then Mahometifm may be put in as good Pre- tenfions to Revelation as Chriflianity.
Eufeb. Prllhee Eleutherius, talk no more of Faith, of Church, of Religion ; thy Breath fmells rank enough to fly-blow Truth, and to taint the Gofpel.
Eleuthe. Adieu ; my Bufmefs calls upon me. Pray let pur next Converfation be more palatable.
E 3 Enfek,
J4 *f^6 Gentleman InfiruBed,
Eufeb. By all means; we'll talk of Wine, Women, and Venfon Pafties; thefe are palatable Topicks for Epicures and Scavingers, but not for Gentlemen and Chriftians.
Eleuthe. Gentlemen, your humble Servant.
Etifeh. You fee, Neander^ Eleutherius's univerfal Pra- (flice, drawn up in fhort; can Blindnefs, Stupidity and Madnefs foar higher? Like crowned Vidims thefe un- happy Creatures dance and fing under the fatal Stroke without Concern, without Senfe of the Danger! They laugh and droll one Moment, and begin the next to weep eternally. Oh Frenzy ! They poft in full Speed in the broad Way to Perdition, and will needs be told they fpur to Heaven ! What Notions have thefe Men of the other World, who live fo madly in this ! Surely they fancy the Soul fiafhes into nothing, when the Body falls into Dull, and that they die like Beafts, they live fo like 'em. Yet thefe are your well-bred Gentlemen, your Men of Parts and Merit : And indeed one muft have extraordinary Breeding to compliment our felves into Hell; one muft be witty to Madnefs, and prudent to Folly, to con- trive our eternal Mifery fo efficacioufly, But feeing they will not profit by our Inftrudions, let us, Neander, by their Stupidity: We'll leave them to the mfe Ives ; their Vices can't damn us ; both Glory and Punilhment are perfonal ; we have made a Day's Work of it ; to mor- row we'll profecute the fame Subjedt.
DIALOGUE V.
A Profecution of the fame SubjeSi.
"" JpLcHther'sus at his return to his Lodging, grew un- *' •'-■^ eafy and fullen ; the late Difcourfc had alarm'd '' his Fears, and awak'd his Confcience, which began in *' good Earneft to call him to an Account, and flung be- ■^^ fore him an ungrateful youmal of his Vices. The un- " happy Gentlem.an was unacquainted with fuch Re- *' proacbes, he fcarce underftood the Language, and " found in himfelf no Inclination to learn it. He thought *' he had treated Confcience fo ill, it would net have the *' Confidence to return ; and indeed for fereral Yeare he ^^, heard no News of it i which made him fufpedl it was
'*' deceafed^
"fhe Gentleman Injirn^ed, 55
*' deceafed, or had taken a Turn to the lndle% for Di- *' verfion.
*' So that he knew not what to make of thefe unufu:.I *' Gripes, of thefe Aches of the Stomach. Atfirfthelu- " fpedted Etifchius had Intelligence with Satan ; and cried *' out for a Divine and Exurcifm. For v/hy, faid he, can't ** Potions conjure up from Hell the Devii offe-ar, as well *' nsPhtltrunjs raife the Fury of Love? But he loonc'^n- *' feis'd, the Devil's Eufinefs was to deaden kemorfe, " not to quicken it ; to gag Confcience, not to provoke *'■ it into Clamours and Reproaches.
*' Though Eufehius had argued down the Gentleman's '* Underftanding, hemadeno Impreflion upon his//- ///; *' though this Faculty be really blind, it afFe6ts Com- " mand, and feldom fails to ufurp the Government tn- " tail'd on Reafon, whenever it's feconded by the-Re- *' bellious Mobile of unruly Paffions. Hence it comes *' that our Judgment generally ftrikes in with our Incli- ** nation, and feldom pronounces againft our Intereft " and Pleafure.
" Eleutherius had been train'd up in the wild Princi- ** pies of Libertinifm ; and having tafted the Sweetnefs *' of an uncontrouled Liberty, he found in himfelfno ** Propenfion to enllave his Reafon to the Rules of Reve- " lation, nor his Praftice to the Laws of Morality; *' wherefore he brib'd his Will to over-reach his Reafon, " and very eagerly helpt on the Impofture. His Endea- *« vour proved fuccefsful; for in Spight of Conviftion " he queftioned the Arguments of Eufebius, and laid his " late Defeat on the Weaknefs of his own Abilities, not " on the Force of his Adverfiiry's Reafons: And now " his Confcience began to fpeak in a lower Tone ; it *' upbraided him with a fainter Accent and a kind of " Refped ; nor did he doubt but a fecond Conference *' would fend it again beyond Sea -, but he would not " leave the Caufe to his own Management, but pitch *' upon his Friends, a Barifter and a Courtier, whom he *' fuppofed to be mighty Wits, becaufe they laught at *' Piety to Scandal. The Defign was laid handfomely, *' and had a promifing Afpedl ; for though the Lawyer *' managed his ill Tongue, the other was excellent at ^' his Weapon, and fo might pufh on the Caufe with a ** fleel Point, as well as with a brazen Forehead.
^ E 4 Eleuthe-
j;6 ^he Gentleman InftruBed,
■ '' £/(f«^^^m// next Morning defired £«/£?^/»; to favour " him with a Vifit in the Evening; hepromired to meet *' him at his Houfe, and put off Neander till the next " Day. He went at the Time appointed, but found *' only Eleutherimh Lady at home. She received Eu[e- «' bim with Civility, and defired him to exped her Hus- *' band's Return.
" She was a Lady of the Town, an Admirer of Eafe, " and a mortal Enemy to Conllraint. One Part of the ^' Morning fhe lay in her Bed, the other fhe fat at her *' Toilet. She fpent the Evening either in receiving Vi- ** fits, or returning 'em. Her Wit run before her Judg- *' ment, but her Tongue diftanc'cl both. In fine, her f' Thoughts foared not an Inch above Earth. She was " wedded to the World, enchanted with the prefent, ?' and unmindful of the future,
" After fome ufual Civilities, pray Sir, faid fhe, ^' give me leave to enquire what pafs'd between my Hus- ^' band and you Yefterday, he return'd in Djforder; I ^' hope there was no Blood drawn.
'Eufcb. None: My Duelling-Days, Madam, arepaft, my Sword has llept fome Years in the Scabbard, and nothing but an extraordinary Occafion fhall releafe it from that Confinement.
Lady, Perchance, you bled his Pocket; Bleeding is fenfible to fome Conftitutions in that Vein ; and I have feen Perfons who would let out feven Ounces of Blood with fewer Grimaces, than one of Silver. And indeed KleuthertHs is of this Humour, his Money and Patience go together.
Eufeb. We paft the Afternoon in Difcourle, not in Play, and I fuppofe he took Pet becaufe we could not a- gree upon the Point in Quellion.
Lady. You furprize me, Sir; he and I play at crofs Queftions every Day ; nay, we feldomare of the fame Opinion: Yet you v/ould take him for a Dove without Gall, without Fail'ion, yea without Senfe, he bears my Humour fo tamely: Certainly you difcufs'd a Matter of. Importance, to talk him into fuch an extraordinary Di- flemper. May I be fo rude, as to ask you the Subjeft of your Converfation.''
Eufeb. Madam, the Subjedl was, Whether the Gentry be not obliged to pradtife Chriftian Vermes ^ and whether
thb
^he Gentleman InJiruSied. . 57
this Precept, be perfeft, falls not as heavy on Lords and Ladies, as on Valets de Chambres and Waiting Women ? Eleutheriui maintained the Non-obligation, and treated me with Heat and Paffioni becaufe I would not give up -the Gofpel to efpoufe his Error.
Lady. Indeed, Sir, I do not enter into Men's Concerns, but I am of Opinion, that Precept reaches not our Sex. Our Conllitution is delicate, foft, and unattemptlng,more fit for Eafe than Labour, and more inclinable to Pleafure than Pain. Befides, Liberty is our Favourite, andCon- ftraint our mortal Enemy. The very Name of a Precept chills our Blood, and the Obligation of a Command is an invincible Temptation to tranfgrefs it. God therefore feeing our Nature unapt for Burden, cannot furely over- charge it with Prohibitions or Commands.
Eufeb. But I fuppofe, Madam, you have fome Preten- fions for Heaven ; you hope to enjoy God in the next World, as well as his Creatures in this.
Lady. I'll endeavour to be happy here, and hope to be fo hereafter. Surely, Sir, you don't take me for a Japo- nefe without Soul, without Expedation of a future State ?
Eufeb. No, Madam ; but of too much Liberty of Principle and Education too. But pray, how will you find God unlefs you feek him ? And how will you be re- ceived into Heaven at your Death, unlefs you prepare the Way to it by Vertue in your Life ?
Our Saviour was pleafed to aflure Mankind, that the Way to Heaven is narrow and uneven : Perchance your Ladyfhip has fallen upon a more convenient Road, and intend to ride thither in a Coach and Six.
Lady. I feek his Will in the Bible, and his Prefence in the Church.
Eufeb. But do you alfo in your Adions ? Alas, Ma- dam, the Knowledge of God's Commands will not fave you ; and I fuppofe many mourn in Hell, who fometimes vilited the Church on a Sunday. You know. Madam, the greateft part of human Anions are of themfelves in- different, and take their Value from the Intention: They muft be directed to God's Honour, to benefit our Souls ; and tend to his Glory, to forward our Salvation. May I be fo bold, as to entreat your Ladyfhip to favour me with a brief Account of the Method you ufe in the Obla- tion of your Adions ?
Lady,
58 7'he Gentleman InJlruBed.
Lady. Sir, I have not yet refolved on a GonfcfTor; 1 own no fuch Obligation ; and I am notdifpofed to Works of Supererogation ; and therefore you mull not expedt to found my Confcience, or to read my Thoughts.
Eufch. I confefs, I am not quite furnifh'd for the Em- ployment of Direction ; and I had rather be condemn'd to the driving of Lyons^ than to be leading of Beatas. But however feeing yoif are pleas'd to refufe me the Fa^ vour I demanded, you will let me try, at Ieaft,lf I can hit on your method. •
" Omnipotent Eternal God! for thy fake I intend to " devote evtry Action of this Day to the World, with- " out leaving one Thought for Heaven. My only C^re *' fhall be to have none, and my only Study to avoij So- " licitude. I'll glitter in Silks and Silver, and hang " Lordfliips in my Ears ; tho' my Sons become \^?x]y^r\<^ " my Daughters Chamber-maids, and my Husbanu i.uls *' out my Bravery in the King's-Bench or the MurJ}jr,:iea. " I'll v^ant nothing at Table but Appetite, and n.iher *' run upon Tick, than keep within the Bounds of Fru- ** gality or Decency. After Dinner I'll either give or re- *' turn Vifits, and entertain the Company at the Expence *' of Modefty and Charity. And in the Evening I'll " drive to Hide-Park, and from thence ftrike off to » *' Ball or a Comedy. I'll pleafc thofe Gallants who pleafe *' me J. and fmile on thofe wjio extol my rare Perfedli- " ons. Ail this, O God! I offer up, ef^.
In good Earnell, Madam, dare you banter, the Moll High at this monftrous Rate ? Would not fuch an Offer- ing (like that of Cain) draw down a Curfe inftead of a Bleffing? What! do we feek God by trampling upon his Commands ; and merit Heaven- by deferving Hell ! Or is not this a faithful Copy of your Pradice ? Is it not your Study, your Bufinefs, your only Employment to invent new Pleafures, and then^to enjoy 'em? Now, Madam, if you dare not offer up your A6lions to God, with what Face can you exped a Reward ! Will he re- compenfe Vice, and crown Impiety ? Or have I miire- prcfented your Conduct ? Don't you rave after Pleafure, Vanity, and Gallantry.
Lady. What then r
Eufeb. S t. Paul is very pcfi tive^T'hat a Woman that li-veth in Pieafure^ is dead while pe iiveth : She lives in Appea- rance,
The Gentleman Injim^ed. jp
ranee, but is dead in EfFedl ; fhe has indeed the Life of Senfe, but not that of Grace, and by Confequence will never enjoy that of Glory.
Ladv. Pray, Sir, can't a Woman wear fme Apparel without forfeiting her Robe of Innocence ? Mull fhe rife from a full Table to fnfFer eternal Hunger? Muft fhe be convey'd from thePIay-Houfe into a Place of Torments ? Can't we be happy in the next World, unlefs we lie con- tinually ftretcht on Racks and Tortures in this ?
Eufeh. Our Blefied Saviour, Madam, fliall be heard, if you pleafe, upon this Point. IVoe be to the Rich, t» thufe that feajl, to thofe that laugh. You have, Madam, a plentiful Ellate, you regale your Appetite, you laugh fometimes at your Neighbour's Vertues, and as often at the Expence of his Reputation : Do not therefore our Sa- viour's Malediftions concern your Lady fhip ? And will he receive you in the next World with an Euge, who ftrikes you with a tripple Fie in this ? ' Lady. You mifapply Scripture, to forge an Argument, and play the declaiming Pedaint: Is it a Sin to vifit the Play-Houfe, to dance at a Ball, to have a comfortable Eftate, a well-furnifh'd Table, and upon Occafion to . fmile ?
Eufeb. I anfwer firft, though thefe A6tions taken in Retail are not criminal, yet taken in a Lump they can't be innocent. For is it lawful, do you think, to confe- crate all the IVToments of your Life to Eafeand Pleafure, to carefs Pallion, and court Senfuality, to make Satis- faction the Principle and End of all your Defires and Endeavours, and not to give Vertue the very Place of an Accellbry? What mean thofe Precepts of Self-Denial, of fufFering, of mortifying the Sallies of the Flefh r Do they Hand for Cyphers in the Gofpel, or were they made mere- ly to tranfgrefs ? Did the Son of God efpoufe our Nature with all its Infirmities? Did he fufFer Hunger, Perfecu- tion, Whips and Death to purchafe us Grace, to be drawn from Hide-Park to the Theatre, from thence to Balls and Feafts ? Did we come into the World to dance Minuets and Rigadoons ? To fing Air? either amorous or yncharitable ?
Secondly, To fee a Play that is either innocent or in- ilru6live, is no Sin. But then to fee five hundred Plays, that from the Prologue to the Epilogue, are either ftuft
with
6o 'The Gentleman InJlrtiBed.
with Blafpliemy, or larded with Atheifm, or embroide- red with Smut and Ribaldry, is a Sin. Can a Chriftian with a late Confcience take Pleafure in hearing the Name of his Redeemer reviled, in feeing every part of his cru- cified Saviour recrucified in horrid Oaths ? Does a Spe- ctator of this fecond Crucifixion bear him more Reve- rence than thofe of his firft ? Can you fee without a Crime, Vertue brought every Evening to the Scaffold either as a Criminal or a Harlequin to be punifh'd or hoot- ed atj and Vice ticad the Stage firft with Pomp, and then go oiF with Reward ? Is it not a Sin to countenance one ? And who countenances thofe Scenes of Libertinifm but thofe who pay the Players and applaud the Poet ?
I do not fay it's a Crime precifely to dance fometimes at a Ball, to ling an Aire alumode^ to enjoy a fair Eftate, to fit at a full Table, or to wear a gaudy Mantua, if you clear Accounts with Merchants and Taylors. But, Ma- dam, thcfe Amufements are waited on by fo violent, fo provoking Tempations, that a Lady fmitten (to Tran- fport and Dotage with thefe Vanities) will certainly fall into many crying Olfences, and by confequence draw <Jown upon her finful Head both the Maledidions and Vengeance of our Blefled Saviour.
For alas! if the moft watchful are fometimes furpri- zed, are not thole in Danger who fleep in the very Camp of their Enemies ? If thofe Chriftians can fcarce over- pome the Allurements of Vice, who confine themfelves to Retirement and Solitude; who check Appetite, who balk Paflion, and crucify the Flelh; will thofe withftand the Attacks of Concupifcence, the Aflaults of Satan, the fawning Charms of the World, who inflame the Blood with high feeding, who embolden Paflion by a criminal Condefcendence, and foolifhly brave the Force of the Devil's battering Engines without the Armour of Pray'r, Humility, and Mortificat'on?
Lady. Pray, Sir, be pleafed to cut out fom.e Work for Ivadies ; fet 'em a Task, regulate their Employment; I fuppofe you'll remove us at leaft four Miles from£oWo», as the Governniefit does, on Occnfion, Papijis; or pro- vide us with Wheels and Flax ; or confine us to the Dairy to make Cheefe-Cakes :ind Cujiards for the Family.
Enfei;. Kfo, Madam, Town- Air is proper for your Complexion. I am not for Removal into the Campaign^
nor
nor for gracing your Ladyfliip with the Title of Spin- ftrefs; (tho' perchance the Law does ;) I am of no level- ling Principles ; Qiiality has Prerogatives, and I would have you maintain 'em : But then if you are a Lady, you are alfo a Chriitian, and mull make good the Character, ideji, you mull love thofe very things you hate, and hate thofe you dote on: Eafe is your Darling, ?.nd Pleafure your Favourite Inclination ; you muft withdraw your Affeftion from the one, and profecutc the other with A- verfion; you pamper your Body to Excefs, and carefs it almoft to Idolatry ; you muft treat itii'cean Enemy ; you muil cut off all fuperfluous Sollicitude, and Itint it to what is meerly necefiary ; your Equipage and Furniture muft anfwer your Rank, not your Vanity; and you muft meafure 'em alfo by your Husband's Eftate, as well as by his Quahiy ; you muft educate your Children in the Fear of God, and give 'em Breeding fuitable to their Excradtion.
" Her Ladyfhip flew out into a Paflion; and had not «' EleuiheriHs returned in the Nick of Time, Eufebius " might have found by Experience, that good Counfel *' is oftentimes ill received: But Eleutherius^ Prefence «' conjured the Tempeft. He begg'd £a/£-/^/aj's Pardon " for having difappointed him, and told him ingenu- " oufly, he came from beating the Drum, to invite two *' Volunteers to continue the Combat, but they refufed " to enter into Service.
" Pray Sir, replied Eufehius^ let the Controverfy " fleep, I have delivered my Opinion, if it jars with *' yours, I cannot help it ; you are your own Mafter. *' After fome indifferent Difcourfe, Eufebius returned ***■ home, and the next Day gave a Vifit to Neauder, and *' profecuted his former Difcourfe thus.
DIALOGUE VI.
Eufebius injirudi Neander in the Duties that regard our Neighbour.
Eufeb. T Touched briefly at our laft Meeting the Branch X of Cliriftian Duty that relates to God. Pil now
lum
61 "fhe Gentleman lnjiru5ied,
fum up the moft eflential Parts of your Obligation to- wards your Neighbour.
I.
Love your Neighbour ns yourfelf^ fays the Text j arid our blefled Redeemer afliires us, that Love, Concord and Union are the moft diftinguifhing QuaUties of a Chriftian. The primitive Believers fet fuch a Value on this darling Vertue of God made Man, that one Heart feem'd to animate all their BodieSj and one Soul to go- vern all their Aftions : So that the very Heathens, who hated their Religion, admired their Charity, and were forc'd to confefs, that nothing but a Divine Hand could ftrike that heavenly Concord from fuchaDifcord of Hu- mours, Inclinations and Interefts,
And left Self-Love might reftrain the Word Proxiums^ as xhtjeivs confine it, to Countrymen, Friends and Re- lations, our Saviour has been pleas'd to extend it to all Mankind ; fo that without Diftindion, without Limita- tion, it takes in the whole Species. Whofoever bears the Imprefs of God on his Forehead, though he carry that of the Beaft on his Heart, is ftiil our Neighbour. No diftance of Place can cut off the Affinity, no length of Time can wear out the Obligation.
Nor muft this Divine Vertue only play on our Tongue^ or evaporate into genteel Difcourfes, or fmooth Compli- ments wrapt up in Terms of Courtfliip j no, it muft not end in Grimace or Ceremony, but ftand the Tcft of A- <5lion ; fine Proteftations of Kindnefs too too often veil traiterous Defigns, and fugar'd Words poifonous Inten- tions : Nor is it a new Treachery to prefent the Olive of Peace with one Hand, and the Stiletto with the other.
II.
Chriftian Charity taken in its full Latitude, implies Precepts both negative and pofitive ; by thofe you are moft feverely forbid to contrive any Mifchief againft your Neighbour J by thefe you are commanded to be as ufeful to him as your Circumftances permit, and his Ne- ceflities require.
III.
Hence you muft not invade )'Our Neighbour's Honour, nor make any Attempt upon hi? Reputation: A good
Nam?
'fhe Gentleman InftruHed. 63
Name is no contemptible Treafure ; the wife Man pri- zes it above an Eftate ; it fets off Birth, and gives an Air even to Poverty ; it fhines brighter than Wealth, and fparkles more than all the Tinfel Gawdry of Fortune; it fupports Grandeur, and fweetens Misfortune. A Bank- rupt that has loll his Coin, if he has not forfeited his Honour, has a Refource at Command. Though his For- tune be fallen, he has a Fund to rebuild it on ! But a Man without Honour is dead to all the Offices of Society and Commerce ; now when his moral Capacity lies in the Grave, his phyfical one alone creates Mifery and Con- tempt to himfelf ; Sport for feme, and Pity for others.
God has fo entailed this Bleffing to every individual, that it's not at our Difpofal ; we can neither make over this Property by Deed of Gift, Bill of Sale, or Mort- gage It at Pleafure. Much lefs can any other Man lay a- ny claim to it. You may commence a Suit of Law a- gainft me, if you think I am your Debtor; but you can't put in a Bill againft my Honour. If I have wrong'd you, fae for Satisfadlion ; llrain my Goods, but aflail not my good Name.
Yet, Good God ! with what Freedom, with what Bcldnefs do we attack our Neighbour's Reputation ? One would think Fame, like bona adefpota^ Goods without Owner, belonged to the flrll Invader.
Detraftion is universally the Difcourfe alamode, not only among the Fry, but alfo among the Nobility, Our Converfations are begun and carried on at our Neigh- bour's Expence, and fo we laugh and riot at free-coft ; we drag out his molt fecret Failings to the Bar, nay, and haul 'em to Execution without Authority, without War- rant, yes, with a greater Crime.
Suppofe his Crimes were real ; what then ? Who made us Judges ? Who commiffioned us to hang the Delinquent in Effigy ? To proclaim on the Houle Tops what he committed in his Clolet ? Though he has loll his Honour in the Sight of God, he Hands fair in the Efreem of ?ylen, and has Right to continue fo, till his Crimes betray them- felves, and expofe his Iniquity to the Publick : If he lias done ill, God will call him to a fevere Account, but we muft not intermeddle. ■ It's our Duty to p'ity a Sinner, and to pray for him, but not to upbraid him.
I onlv
^4 ^^^ Gentleman InflruM.
I only jelled, fays one. But why muft I pay for your Diverfion? Though you publifh my Faults in Jeft, yois ftab my Reputation in Earneft. But belides, by this ve- ry Excufe you acknowledge yourfelf a Fool, to prove your Innocence : For to jeft and to play the Fool are in Practice fynonymous.
He is my Enemy, fays another. Did you inform the Company of this Circumftance, you might perchance detrad more, and fin lefs ; for who believes an Enemy ? On fuch an Occafion all goes for Satyr and Invedlive. When the Heart is out of Tune, the Tongue never goes right; but you whet and oyl your Darts, that they may pierce deeper. You command me to conceal your Paf- fion, and then dete6l my Life to fKew me for a Mon- fter; and thus you call in Artifice to fecond Malice, and mifufe your Wit, to ruin an Innocent, and to enhance your Guiltd
But why am I your Enemy i* Becaufe I would not re- folve to be your Dupe. You fet Traps to enfnare me; I difcovered" the Ambufcade, and had Wit to avoid it : And thus you take the Liberty to bcfpatter my Fame, becaufe you wanted Power to affront my Perfon.
Yet, though I am yoar Enemy, you are not, I fup- pofe, an Infidel. If I have failed in my Duty, muft you betray yours for Company ? You are a Chriftian, and muft therefore either forget or forgive. My Impiety can- not warrant yours. Revenge is caufa major ^ and only be- longs to the Court of the moft High. At his Bar alon6 we muft plead our Caufe, and from his upright Judgment we muft expeft Redrefs.
Ah, dear Neander ! Let us turn our Eyes homeward, and examine our own Conduft ; we may perchance find there Matter for Satyr, and Work for Repentance. Here we may blame without Detradlion, and condemn with- out Sin. But it's both mean and unchriftian, like Flies> to hover about our Neighbour's Stores, Put a Centinel over your Tongue ; it's a flippery A/iember ; Nature has framed it for Motion, and Malice has fitted it for any Mifchief; a Child can fet it a running, but all the Force of Reafon, all the Checks of Confcience are not able t6 ftop it in its Career.
But above all things be cautious and tender of Ladies Reputations; A Woman's Honour, like her Sex, isfoft
com-
fhe Gentleman Injiru^ed, 6^
complexion'd ; the very Breath fulliesits Luftre, and a Touch daflies it in Pieces. Wounds made by the Tongue, (like the biting of Crocodiles) are above the healing Vir- tue of Balfam, and the Skill of Surgery. Quod dentibus iaceravit^ nunquam fanatur. An indilcreet Word bolt- ed out at random, without Deiign, without Adalice, of- tentimes ftabs the Fame of the Female Sex, and every Wound is mortal.
My Blood has often curdled in my Veins, when I heard Gentlemen rriagnify their infamous Gonquefts^ and raife cruel Trophies on the Ruins of Women's Honour : I had not Patience to hear the Bravades, nor Power to hinder 'em. What will thefe People blufh at, thought I, who' proclaim their Infamy, and promulge their Shame ? Cer- tainly they muft think it a fine thing to bea Monfter, why elfe do they triumph in Lewdnefs, and fport with De- bauchery ?
Thefe mighty Vidories are either real or pretended ; if real, can Fancy frame any thing more difingenuous, more diabolical, than firft to wheedle a Lady out of her In- nocence, and then to proflituteher Honour to the wan- ton Caprice of a Club of Reprobates, who will not fail to difcover her Shame at the next Rendezvous, and to multiply their own Crimes by lampooning hers ? Here is a Brace of Sins, both fmell ftrong of JMalice, both fore- bode Damnation.
If pretended only, the Crime is yet of a deeper Dye ; 'tis of a more formidable Afpedl:, of a more gigantick Size: Here is Innocence at the Block, and Guilt com- mits the Murder.
I know in the next World God will call to a mofl: Jevere Account thefe Ghriftian Canlbals that welter in Blood, and^ like famiih'd Wolves, worry their own Spe- cies. But I would have the Wifdom of the Nation make fome Provifion againlt luch brutal, fuch inhuman At- tempts. Why (hall a Highwaymm hang for taking my Purfe, and a Rake go unpunifh'd, who invades my Honour? Why (hall a Rape upon a Woman's Body be revenged with a Halter, and Violence upon her Fame be rewarded with Applaule? If the Faults be greater, why are not the Punifhments at lealt equal? Why is there hot a Reltraint on the Fongue as well as on the Hands? Is it becaufe it's lefs capable of Dileioline? F What,
6(> The Gentle A-r AN Injrufied.
What, muft the Greatnefs of the Mifchief be a Plea for Impunity ? Becaufe \\\\spuMy petuluKt Member commits more difmal Crimes than our whole Body, mud it en- joy a more uncontroll'd Liberty ? I would have thefe Beafts of Prey forc'd out of Savagenefs and Cruelty by Law and Difcipline ; they (hould be clapt in the Pound, ©r cooled with a hot Iron : Or at lead we fhould keep in Pay a Brigade of Hunters to ferret our Defamators, and to clear the Nation of this noxious Vermin, as once we did of Wolves : But I fear the Diftemper is paft Cure; thofe who are infeded carry the Contagion to the Grave. Not one in a thcufand repents.
Nean. Why fo? Is Detraction one of thofe Sins that are neither pardoned in this Life nor the other? True Sorrow is a Catholicon, an univerfal Slave for all the Wounds of Confcience. /
Eujeb. Right, true Repentance has a kind of Omnipo- tence ; it difarms divine Juftice, and turns God into Mer- cy, but then it muft be true, real, fincere. Now, do ye think, thefe Men of Honour, as they are pleas'd to ftile themfelves, will ever refolve to repair a ruin'd Reputa- tion at the Expence of their own? Will they fet a dif- jointed Fame at their own Charge? No, no!
Nean. Can't I re-inftate a Man in the juft Pofleflion of his Honour, without forfeiting my own? Exprefs your Mind clearer, I conceive not what you would be at.
Eufc'b. Detraction is a Sin againft Juftice, and therefore by the Laws of God and Nature the Offender lies under an indifpenlible Obligation of indemnifying the injur'd Perfon. Non remittitur peccatum^ donee reflituatur ab- latum. Now the Detradlor rifles his Neighbour's Ho- nour, he blafts his Reputation, he muft therefore make good the Lofs; and as the Tongue is guilty of the Theft, fo it muft make Satisfaction. For the Wounds of Ho- nour are only heal'd by the Inftrument that made 'em. The Crijninal muft acknowledge his Fault, he muft con- fefs that Paffion run away with his Reafon j that Malice carried him beyond his Duty, and Truth alfo; that what he laid to his Neighbour's Charge, was hatch'd in his own Brain, or taken upon Credit , and if a bare Afleveration will not do the Work, he muft back his Confellion with an Oath.
Nean»
7'he Gentleman InJlruBed, 6y
Nean. This is fevere : What, muft a Gentleman give himlelf the Lye ? Flefh and Blood cannot pradtife fuch rigorous Morals; the Remedy is worfe than the Difeafe; and if your Cafuiftry be orthodox, it's eafier for a Camel to pafs through the Eye of a Needle, than for a Detradlor to enter into Heaven.
Eiifeb. Under Favour, Neander^ the lead Sin is a greater Evil than the greateft Infamy ; and I hold it much more eafy to blufh for an Afperfion, than to burn for it eternally.
Nea>t. Don't Men charge up to the Cannon's Mouth to gain Honour, and leave their Bodies in the Breach to be carried oft" with Applaufe? Nay, do they not often- times march up to the Out-works of Hell, to maintain their purchafed Reputation ? Can you therefore think, that thofe Bravoes, who tremble more at the Shadow of a Difgrace, than at all the Terrors of Damnation, will buy Pardon at the Expence of their Honour?
Eufcb. The Queftion, dear Neander, is not what Men do, nor what Aden will do, but what they fhould do. Were PratSlice the Standard of Duty, we might reform the Gofpel as well as the Kalendar ; we might turn thofe Woes God has pronounced againfb Injuftice, Drunken- nefs and Whoredom, upon Juftice, Sobriety and Challi- ty : For it's certain thefe Vertues are invifible in Practice, and thofe Vices are too too fafliionable. But, Ncander, though Guftom and Practice may enhance Guilt, they cannot Men it.
Men are fond of Honour to Madnefs and Frenzy. It's a mli me tangere ; the leaft Attempt upon this darling Folly is often revenged with Murder. But then, me- thinks, the Inclination we have to conferve our own Fame, fhould infpire fome Tendernefs for that of our Nsighbour. For have we not Reafon to fuppofe, he is no lefs acquainted with the Value of this ineftimable Treafure than our felves, and that he would be as un- willing to expofe it to the Mercy of petulant Tongues? Perchance, Meander^ I rate it to the height of its Worth, yet I give God's Favour the Preference : One Grain of his Divine Grace out-weighs a Tun of a Heftor's Reputation. In a Word, I would live an Age under the Stroaks of the mod picquant Difgrace, I would fheath in my Breaft all the Darts of Malice, Envy and Poverty,
F 2i either
68 fhs Gentleman Injrtitfed.
either to die Innocent, or repentant ; for all thefe Mife-* ries are lleeting and tranlitory ; but the Reward ofVer- tue and the Punifhment of Vice are both eternal. If therefore your Men of Honour will rather Hand by their dimes, than recant, I would have 'em train'd up in the DiiC.pline of Bedlam j a Switch is the belt Remedy a- gainll Madnel's.
Belides, why is an humble Confeflion a degrading Sa- tisfacfhion? The Name of a Chriftian is glorious ; how then can the Duty lie under Reproach ? If the Profeffion be honourable, the Practice of it cannot be fhameful. Why then do we tremble at Shadows, and run from Monllers that take their Deformity from Imagination?
I did not blufli to wound my Neighbour's good Name ; why fhould I be afhamed to heal it ? Sin (hould be wait- ed on by Infamy, as it is by Remorfe ; and Repentance fhould be accompanied by Glory; but by a ftrange Le- gerdemain the Devil has turn'd the Tables, and tack'd Shame to this, and Impudence to that : But however. Repentance is an honeft A6t ; it's worthy of a Man, and the indifpenfible Duty of a Chriftian; why then fhould it fear a Witnefs? The Difference between good and ill Men lies not in the Efteem of Vertue, but in the Pra- ctice i for both equally value it. But the firlt only pofl'efs it, becaufe the others will not go to the Charge of pro- curing it.
Nean. Pray, is not Fear a clownifli Vice ; a Female Weaknefs ? Does it not fit ungenteelly on Quality ? Now what can bring a Gentleman to the Bar, and clap him on his Knees, with a Pray forgive me in his Mouth, but this mean Palfion ?
Eufeb. You are miilakcn ; Cowardice and Fear are neither fynonymous in Philofophy, nor Morals : That is always a Vice, this is often a Vertue. When Prudence commands Fear, Boldnels is Temerity and Folly : It's Cowardice to defpond and fmk under a Danger, that Valour can fubdue ; but it's Rafhnefs to engage with one above the Strength of human Force. Has then a Gentleman lefs Courage, becyufe he trembles at the im- partial Juilice of an enraged Deity ? Becaufe he dares not wreftle with the Omnipotent, or Hand the fhock of his Fury ? Becaufe he'll rather repent than die in Obfli- nacy, and rather return to his Duty, than fufFer eternal- ly
^he Gentleman Injfru^ed. 6p
ly for tranfgrefling it? Neander, l:t not the wild Noti- ons of our pretended Gentle-men be your Guides : Their Principles are as corrupt as their Practice, and their Reafon is as bad as their Confcience.
Nean. Are you not a Member of the Port-Royal Club?
Eufeb. Why do you ask this Queftion ?
Nean. I am told they are mighty Patrons de la morale fevere ; they preach up Rigour to fuch an exorbitant Height, that one would think God's great Prerogative, Mercy, was either wore out, or extindt. Your Morals 'have a Flavour of Rigorifm ; they are four, morofe, ill- natur'd, and call for a Dram of Charity. For look ye. Sir, Detraftion, as the World goes, s no Phantafm, it's a very real thing, and keeps good Company : This alone, pours Life into Converfation ; it quickens Difcourfe ; ■Without it Mirth would languiHi, and good Humour ileep. I have feen your Seventh-form Wits, as mute, as if their Mouths were pad lock'd, when any ferious and innocent Subjcdt came in their Way ; but when their Neighbour's Condudt was brought before 'em, their Tongues run before their Conlcience ; they would take his Life in Pieces, they would rip up his Breaft, diffeft his Thoughts, and then draw Demonftrations from meer Conjectures ; they would hand his Reputation about the Table, till it fell to the Ground, and blow over it, till it fmell as rank as the Breath that caufeth the Stench, and difgorged the Infedlion. Notwithftanding thefe Peo- ple hoped to be faved, without Hooping to the Satisfacti- on you fpeak of In fhort, every Man endeavours by Detraction and Out-rage to undermine his Brother's Fame, and no Man fo much as thinks of repairing it. Nay, I never heard the Clergy recommend it to dying Perfons as a Duty j but either as an ACt of Decency, or of Edification. Can I fuppofc you are better in- formed of a ftriCt Obligation than the Miniftry ? Or bet- ter vers'd in Cafuiftry than Divines ? Eujehius, let us damn no Body.
Eufeb. I remember when ftigmatized Villians with Nar- ratives and Difcoveries libelled honeft Patriots into Newgate^ and cut off' their Honours and Lives with Fears and Jealoufies; when they fowed the Innocent in Bear- Skins, and then fet all the Beagles of the FaCtion about F 3 their
70 ^he Gentleman Inftru^ed.
their Ears ; when they profaned Bailies with Perjuries, and butchered their Fellow-Subjed's Fame at the Bar, to quarter their Bodies at Tyburn. Thefe Knights of the Poft flung not up, I fuppofe, their Pretenfions tc Heaven: Tho' I have not feen any Recantation; yet I am fure, unlefs God nulls all the Laws of Nature, and calls in the Gofpel, or illues out under his great Seal an Amnefty, they'll fall fhort of their Expeftation.
1 confefs, this Difeafe of the Tongue is epidemical ; the ufe of Speech has fo fwerved from its original Infti- tution, that it's become an Incumbrance and a Snare to Mankind. I look upon the Faculty rather as a Penalty than a Prerogative ; and were we divefted of it, though we fhould be unfit for Converfation, we might hope to be more innocent. Now, whether our Calumniators hope to be faved, is a Queftion. I am apt to believe their Religion and Confcience are of a Piece, and t?Mt they confine their Fears, Hopes and Defires within the Compafs of this World : For certainly, the Dread of eter- nal Fire might cool their Paffions, and check their Ma- lice. Were they perfuaded of another World, would they not fall with more Scruple, and rife with more Vi- gour ? But if they hope for Salvation without Satisfadi- on, they build on a deceitful Bottom.
Neander^ Once more let meadvifeyou to be tender of your Neighbour's Honour. Give Ear to the Voice of Nature, that commands you to do as youixiould he-done by : You can't chufe but hear this jiift, this equitable Admonition, unlefs we Hop our Ears, and caft Reafon into a mortal Lethargy -, nay, we muft approve the Counfel, fo that we can neither plead Ignorance nor Impotence. And certainly, a fick Man deferves rather Laughter than Pity, that will rather ftruggle with a Dif- eafe, and groan under the Pangs of a burning Fever, than apply a Remedy.
Yet after all, I grant a disjointed Reputation is not cafily fet ; and therefore I befeech you, to avoid a Mif- chief, that draws after it fuch a difmal Confequence. If other Men have a mind to be eternally miferable, let 'em have that Satisfaftion ; but he not fo ill advifed, as to wait on 'em. Should a Man put Fire to his Houfe, or leap into a boiling Cauldron, the Frolick would fcarce go round. Yet certainly, thofe that break in upon ano- ther
T'ke Gentleman Injlru^ed, yi
ther Man's good Name, and never refolve to repair the Injury, hazard a thing more precious than a Houfe or Life. Why therefore fhall we refufe to comply in one Cafe, and not in the other ?
I have made a fliort Survey of Detra6li'6n, and laid be- fore you a faint Profpefi; of its dangerous Confequences : But it avails not the Patient to know the Nature of his Diitemper, unlefs he be told the Remedy. I will there- fore prefcribea Recipe. Certainly the Phyfician's Method is applicable to Difeafesof the Soul, no lefs than to thofe of the Body. We mufl llrike at the Caufe, before we can hope to mafter the EfFe6l. Now if we trace Detrac- tion up to its Origin, we fliali find it fpring from Pride and Envy : For it's a kind of Apofteme that lies at the Heart, and breaks out at the Mouth.
Though all Sins have a Flavour of Pride, yet Detrac- tion has a greater Dofe of this bad Humour than ordi- nary. It's thechief Ingredient of this outragious Crime ; it difcompofes the Stomach, and then immediately gives the Heart-burning ; and then the Tongue, which is its Index, falls into Diforders. A Man fmitten, like young Narcijfus^ with his own Excellencies, looks down from the Pinnacle of his foaring Conceit on other Mortals as Vaflals; he fancies Praifeis an Inheritance entailed on his Merit ; that either to refpeil or honour another, is to invade his Property, and to fet againft him an ufurp- ing. Competitor. Hence he runs in'Queft of a Foil, to make his own Perfe6lions appear more gaudy, and fparkle with more Eclat. Now what can give a more charming Turn to his fuppofed Talent, than his Rival's Folly ? Hence he rallies up in a Body all the auxiliary Forces of Anger and Revenge; he takes the Field, and maraudes upon his Fame ; he difle6ts the poor Creature's A6lions, and expofes the whole Anatomy of his pri- vate TranfgreiTions to the View and Cenfure of the Pub- lick. For he wifely fancies, that the Fabrick of his Va- nity will Hand unmoveable on the Ruins of a Rival's Re- putation. Did the Breafts of the proud and haughty- minded Men lie open to Sight ; could we rifle all the abftrufe and dark Recefles of their Hearts, what Sallies of Joy fliould we difcover at the moft innocent Over- lights of a Competitor ? And then, whoever crows with- in at the Misfortune, will proclaim it at the firft Occa- F 4 fion :
71 ^e Gentleman Infru^ed.
lion: For Joy, like Grief, is a ftifling Humour, unlefs it ihrows off the Oppreflion.
If therefore you defire to fpealc ill of no Body, think not too well ofyourfelf; fet not too exorbitant a Price upon your Merits ; remember you are no Phcenix, the only mdividual of your Species ; thofe Qi^ialities you poliefs are mere Gratuities, the Effedsof God's Libera- lity, not of your Deferts ; you had no right to be much lels to be great, beautiful, or rich. Is it not Madnefs therefore for you who can lay claim to nothing, to en- grofs all the Gifts of Nature and Fortune ? Think not, God has exhaufted his Treafury on you alone ; he fcat- ters his Favours where he pleafes ; and if he provides more plentifully for your Neighbour than for you, why do you complain? Mud you be evil, becaufe God is good ? Muft you caft a malicious Glance at another, be- caufe he has received fome Marks of his great Maker's Kindnefs ? Difcompofe not your Thoughts for other Peoples Advantages, but enjoy your own with Thank- fulnefs. Fix juft Bounds to your Defires, as well as to your Undertakings, otherwife you'll rear up imaginary Caftles of Greatncfs, to create to your felf a real Tor- ment.
But if you will contend for an honourable Poft, ma- nage the Conteft fairly ; pufli on your Pretenlions with Vertue and Generofity. Let Merit bear away the Prize, not Outr^.ge, and if your Rival carry off the Advantage, rather applaud the Conqueft, than revile him. By lef- fcnmg his Parts or Conduct you burlefque your own ; but then if you complain, and curfe in a Corner, you only betray your Impotence, Ill-nature, and Impiety : In fine, look at your Failings and his through the fame Glafs, and you'll fee an humbling Speftacle ; you'll be- hold fo many Objeds worthy of Blame, that you'll have ■no great Stomach to cenfure others.
Envy is the fecond Source of Detra£lion. This is an ill-natur'd Vice, it loves ill for ill's fake, and takes Plea- fure in Torment ; it's a kind of Turnkey by Birth, and an Executioner by Profeffion ; it feeds on Stench, and fucks Rats-bane from Balms, and Infection from Perfumes; ir never does a good Turn, but when it defigns an ill one ; and fddom takes things by the right Handle; Mifchief makes up its Employment, Plagues and Famines are its
DiverfioHi
The Gentleman InJiruBed, 73
Diverfion, its Smiles are liice blazing Comets, which cither hatch Treafon, or portend it. What Wonder, if a Man poffefs'd by this Fiend plays the Devil, who is furnamed Accufator Fratrum !
But though any Mifchief lies within the Reach of an envious Man's Wifli, many are removed out of the Verge of his Power : Some move too high to be (hot at, others too low ; but neither Place nor Station is a fufficient Fence againft the Tongue. A Dwarf may engage with a Giant ' at this Weapcn, or a Clown with a Lord. And for this Reafon, when the envious Man can't come at his Antago- nift's Perfon, he fets upon his good Name, and falls foul upon his Honour ; and when by the help of keen Satyr and falfe Glofles, he has beat down the Out-works that fenc'd his Fortune from Infult and Ruin, he draws his Cannon nearer, and raifes Batteries againft his Grandeur and Eftate that fupport it : For he knows that the beft built Fortune can't be ftable, when Reputation, that propt it, is removed. Thus we fee Socrates kept his Ground, and even triumphed over the Calumnies of his Accufers, whilft his Reputation interpofed. But when a buffooning Comedian droU'd him into Contempt, he appear'd no lefs guilty before the Judges, than defpica- ble on the Stage. So that in Conclulion, Envy found him guilty, and theSenatepronounced the Sentence.
Methinks it's fuperfluous to dilluade a Man from this Vice. Intereft is more powerful than Reafon. We dote on Pleafure, and run from Pain by the Inftinft of Nature. Who will not rather chufe aPrifonwith Satisfaftion, than a Palace with Torment ? But an envious Man, inftead of following the Current of Nature, bears up againft it. He labours for labour's fake, and drudges for the meer Expectation of Mifery. He leads the Life of Cain, haunt- ed with the Spedres of his own Crimes from within, and with a thoufand Jealoufies from abroad ; other Peo- ples Happinefs creates his Torments ; their Profperity gnaws his Entrails, and his Impotence, to over-caft the Sun-{hine of their Fortune, claps him on the Wheel. Now a Man that can fall in Love with Pain, and court Difquiet, muft not be caft in the fame Mould that o- ther Mortals are : And therefore I fhould think it as eafy to difluade People from Envy, as from' vaulting down a Precipice.
But
74. ^f^^ Gentleman InflniBed.
But befides, a Man that envies others, is always paid in the fame Coin ; his Honour will be as roughly handled j when one contefls with Multitudes, he Hands on the low- er Ground, and fights at a Difadvantage. This is the envious Man's Cafe. For he can't but know the difinge- nuous Defcants on other's Aitions will reach the Ears of the o'fended Perlons. Defaming Reports have a mira- culous Sympathy with thofe that Diftance of Place is not able to dead the Echo ; they rebound from Tongue to Tongue, are toiled from Hand to Hand, till they come to the Knowledge of the injured ; and generally, like Snow-Bdlls, they encreafe in the Journey. What a gra- ting Nolle then will they make in the Ears of the defa- med Perfon I Will not he think of Reprifals ? Will he not treat your Honour with as little Regard as you have his? And God fend fuch an eafy Satisfadlion may af- fwage his Refentment. When Men lit Judges in their own Caufe, they make the Bills of Lofles and Damages rife high ; who knows but they may demand Blood, and facrifice your Life to the Manes of their murder'd Reputation ?
In fine, Neander^ remember you muft die. When Death hath fealed your Eyes, you'll find all the Darts of the Tongue, fhot at your Neighbour, ftick in your own Soul ; you'll feel the Smart, but will find no Lenitive, no Cure : Why then {hall we run headlong into thofe Crimes we muft either deplore here, or burn" for hereafter ? Let us look before us, and not, like Beafts, follow the meer Im- preffions of Paffion. Let us fhew we are Men, not by our Vices, but by our Vertues. To have Reafon, and to a6l againft it, is to debafe our Species.
IV.
As God has fenced our Neighbour's Fame, fo he has been careful to guard his Poflelfions againft all the At- tempts of Avarice and Injuftice. Non furaberis, fays he in the Decalogue, Thou Jh alt not Jleal ; and then he threa- tens the Criminal with the Sentence of his high Difplea- fure, unlefs he cancels the TranfgrelTion with a fincere Repentance. I apprehend, Neander, fome Gentlemen miftake this Command : They fancy it reaches only Pads, Cut-purfes or Highwaymen : But this is a Miftake ; it takes in all who ad againft the Laws of Juftice j and for
this
-7%ff Gentleman InJiruBed. 75
this Reafon, I fear, that many who hang at Tyburn, are often lefs criminal, than fomeofthofe whoftand Spe6ta- tors of the Tragedy, or perchance who fat on the Bench. For in all Kingdoms, Laws are, as Solon faid, like Cob- webs, that hamper fmall Flies whilll the greater break through 'em. Poor People bear the Punifhment of In- juftice, and great ones carry off in Triumph both Plea- fure and Profit. Thefe are too big for Execution, though not for Guilt. They can fue for an indigent Neighbour's Field, becaufe it lies conveniently, and perfuade the Judges they have more Right, becaufe they have more Money and Credit. The Luftreof Gold often dazzles Lawyers out of Confcience, and juft Pofl'eflbrs out of Lordfhips. Right ebbs and flows by the fecret Influence of Guineas. For let me tell you, Neander, the Juftice of a Caufe fprouts up, and thrives miraculoufly under a Fee.
But though thefe Men carry the Suit in the Eyes of the World, they lofe it at God's high Court of Juftice, and their Souls alfo ; nor is there any Difference between thefe Over-reachers and Cut-purfes; but that they are